Can't Control It
by JBugNR
Summary: Bella & Alice set off on a cross-country tour with their friends, & loves, to promote their growing band. A wrong turn forever changes their lives. Who will come out unscathed in this battle of love and loss? Rated M for lemons, violence, & potty mouths.
1. Chapter 1

AN: So, this is my very first ever attempt at writing fanfiction. Thank you a million times for giving my messed up little dream a shot.

I never could have done this without my support of my beta and wifey, Arenee363, and my super-fuck-awesome beta, wisdomous. Leannelrh, there's a good chance I'd never have even opened Word to start this without you.

I have to dedicate my first chapter to my loves that support me in our pervtastic WC's almost every night. You ladies are the cake to my inner fat kid.

I do not own Twilight or any of the yummy (and slightly annoying) characters in said book. They all belong to that Meyer chick. Also, there is quite a bit of potty mouth in all of my chapters. Sorry if it bothers you.

I shall see you below!

But I do own a pink iPod, an obscene amount of movies, and lots of cupcake supplies.

**BPOV**

June –3 Years Ago

"FUCK!!"

We were going to be late for 3rd Strike's biggest show yet, all because I couldn't find my damn shoe. Just one little fucking shoe. That damn dog better not have run off with my heel again.

"Alice, find that dog and see if he has my other heel please!" I yelled to Alice as she paced back an forth from my room to the living room and back again, I'd be surprised if she wasn't wearing a trail in my parent's ugly blue carpet. She hated being late, especially to a show. God forbid Tripp should play one song without Alice there drooling at him from across the room.

3rd Strike was a band that a few boys in our class started when we were all freshmen, and now that we were seniors, they had a pretty good following around town. Tripp is the rhythm guitarist and is currently Alice's soul-mate; she has a new one every month. It was a damn shame Tripp seemed oblivious to the whole thing. He was nice to us long before we started to go to every show, and only grew more and more excited to see us as the years went by. Of course, count on me to be difficult and fall for the wannabe badass lead singer, Lucas. There had never been a better way to describe him than 'whore'. Did that ever stop me from wanting to jump his bones? Fuck no.

The rest of the band went through quite a few changes before Garrett, Emmett, and Charles secured their places as the drummer, the lead guitarist and back up singer, and the bass player. After Alice and I accepted these new additions we never missed a show. We even went all the way to Nashville with them over spring break one year.

I was far too busy reminiscing about the past four years to notice the shoe flying towards my head. Damn that bitch had good aim.

"Thanks a lot, whore!" I yelled. All I got in response was a cackle.

I slipped on my heel and walked out to stand in front of the full length mirror with Alice. We had on our 'Ass. Required' band shirts that Alice ripped up, tied, safety pinned, and God knows what else. The boys really got a laugh out of these shirts. 'Assembly Required' was the name of their first E.P. Emmett had laughed until he cried when he discovered you could abbreviate 'assembly' to 'ass.' It didn't take much with that group.

"Damn, Tripp is going to lose his shit when he sees us in these shirts! We make this band look good." Alice beamed back at me in the mirror.

"We're not in the band, sugar-tits. But I know what you mean." I smirked back at her.

Fifteen minutes later we were strutting into the bar where our boys were playing. Yeah, we strut, wanna fight about it? Because when we channeled our badass sides…it was over.

The bar was once described as having a mafia/vampire motif; it was one of our favorite places to visit. The walls were covered with crimson velvet hangings; gothic inspired wall lamps cast off dim light over the black tabletops and black leather booths. They used to exclusively book jazz bands until they found the huge following that rock backs had. Because of the high-end nature of their food and clientele, it was the most sought after venue in town. Bands usually only played here three or four times before they were picked up by even bigger venues out of town.

The band was in the middle of their sound check when we rounded the corner and they stopped to tackle us with bear hugs the moment they saw us. It really is one of the best feelings in the world to realize you are so loved by fools like these; you really can't help but to feel a little cocky about it. That was why we could be badass when we went out. No one wants to fuck with the band's chicks. We took full advantage.

"Good to see you too, loves. Damn, put me down before you mess up my outfit!" Alice squealed and giggled as she playfully hit Tripp while he spun her around.

"Speaking of outfits, you guys look like shit." I said with the sweetest smile I could muster.

"Let us dress you guys!! Oh please let us dress you just one time!" Alice was practically on her knees begging.

"Fuck. No. Alice. We will not be made to look like bunches of wusses by letting a couple of chicks dress us. Now, come with me to get some drinks." Tripp winked and her and laughed as he held out his hand to her.

We all laughed as they walked away to "get drinks." We all knew they were going to flirt in front of everyone else; Tripp should never be allowed to lie, he's horrible at it.

"So what songs are you fine men gracing us with this evening?" I asked, as Lucas slipped his arm around my waist.

This boy was going to be the death of me. I never once doubted that. I was helpless against his man-whore ways. He was well aware of this fact and took advantage of it as often as possible.

"You'll just have to wait and see little one." Emmett joked as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"You're such a pig, let me down!!"

"No way hot shit, I like it when you wiggle against me like that."

My little fists were useless against his broad shoulders. Such a caveman. I was finally saved by Charles, who walked back into the room with a big ass bucket of beer. Not that we were legally old enough to drink here, but the owners really adored our little group and the boys brought in a lot of business. It was the least they could do.

I used to get so mad when they picked on me for being little, especially when Alice was a good five inches shorter than me! I guess it was something I grew to love because the one day they didn't pick on me, I thought they were mad at me.

Alice and I slid into the biggest booth the bar offered and were promptly smooshed by the guys squeezing in. I swear, if I didn't love these boys as much as I did, I'd try to beat them all up. 'Try' being the important word.

"So, what's up? When do we get to see the set list? You guys know how we hate your little surprises, like that time you broke out into…" As soon as Tripp saw no foreseeable end to Alice's questions he shut her up with a kiss on the lips. There is a good chance she died for a second before she attacked his face. Their public display of affection was received by loud catcalls and a round of applause by the rest of us. It was about damn time they stopped pussy-footing around each other. They crawled out of the booth for some privacy, and knowing Alice it would be in the least private place in the bar…like at the bar.

"Ok, but in all seriousness…what are you guys playing tonight? We _really_ don't need a repeat performance of 'That's Why Mommy Left Us.'" I giggled slightly as I remembered the shocked faces of the crowd while Alice and I nearly pissed on ourselves laughing.

"Daddy buys whores and robs liquor stores! He touches little boys in the back of the bus…and that's why mommy left us!" The boys belted out the lyrics of the infamous song in unison while I flushed a deep crimson. I can't take these fools anywhere.

Garrett finally had mercy on me and slid me the set list. They were finally getting enough of a fan base to play a good deal of original songs mixed in with some of our favorite covers. They always made it a point to ask me what went over best with the crowd, since Alice was too busy dancing to notice, and they were too caught up in the excitement of playing for a crowd.

"No fuckin' way! You guys are _not_ covering this song!" I bounced up and down in my seat as I pointed to a song on the set list; I loved it when they pulled songs out of left field to shake everyone up.

My lovely boys were primarily a rock group but they loved to learn random covers that no one would expect them to play. The first night Tripp broke out into 'Ride Wit Me' by Nelly, the crowd went nuts. We had to scare away quite a few over-anxious girls that night.

I was studying the set list so intently I didn't even realize when Lucas slipped his arm around my shoulder until he pulled me basically onto his lap.

"Umm, can I help you, darlin'?" I smiled down at Lucas as a slow deep burn started to crawl across my face.

Then he did that thing he does because he knows what it does to my lady bits. He brought his lips within centimeters of my ear as he spoke. I shivered at the closeness.

"You just looked so cute over there with your tongue all poked out of the side of your mouth. Thought maybe it would like some company…" he trailed his sentence off as he licked the skin right behind my ear. The soft moan that escaped my lips couldn't be helped even if I wanted to. He swiftly took advantage of my weakness and nipped at the spot he had just licked, the resulting moan was neither soft nor unnoticed by the rest of the band at the table. My heart felt like it was beating in my throat as I sucked in a few shaky breaths.

"Sweet baby Jesus in his golden fleece diapers, what the hell is wrong with you and Tripp, Lucas? Can't you two keep your dicks in check until after the show? I know Bella and Alice are hot and often jump around in front of us with barely-there-shirts that say our name but…umm…fuck…I totally lost my train of thought." Emmett said rolling his eyes.

I had to give it to Emmett; he started off strong and then lost it as soon as he said 'jump.' He stared at my boobs and when I flipped him off he just laughed his loud infectious laugh before he clarified, "I like this train of thought way more." The bastard waggled his eyebrows at me.

Alice finally managed to float her way back over to me right as the band was about to start their first song. She looked guilty. I couldn't help but giggle as I imagined Alice plastering herself to Tripp's body as stunned patrons gaped at them with open mouths. The girl had no shame.

"Oh my God, what did you guys do?!" I pointed my accusing finger at her and she just laughed. The opening chords of 'Fight for Your Right to Party' by the Beastie Boys, saved her from having to answer.

We sauntered towards the stage to claim our spot below Tripp and Lucas. As we reached the stage, patrons, stoked to hear the party anthem rushed us. This was one of the many things we loved about 3rd Strike; they didn't do any of that 'we'll take it easy and work into a harder set' bullshit. They dove head first into the stuff that made you want to get up and move.

They ended the energetic set with their version of Machine Head, which earned them a loud round of applause and a few squeals from the girls. I hurried off to grab us a round of shots, which was our tradition between sets. We let Em toast this time, because it was sure to be inappropriate and it was just better to get it out of the way before he got drunker and louder. I smiled widely at my friends as they laughed and walked towards me. They were responsible for the best times of my life so far. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have these freaks in my life.

Everyone grabbed a shot and held it up as we waited for Em to decide what he was going to grace us with this evening.

"Here is to dancing like no one is watching, singing like no one is listening, and fucking like its being taped!" A few near-by people hollered as we laughed and threw back our shots.

Alice and Tripp were whispering and giggling in the corner like a couple of twelve year olds and all I could do was shake my head and smile. I knew how long Alice had lusted after Tripp, and I knew that it had grown into something more as we got closer to them. I turned around to see Charles going over some chords with Garrett while Em hit on a waitress. I don't know why he tried anymore, considering every waitress this place has ever had in the last three years has turned him down on more than one occasion.

As I was about to walk to the bar to get a new round of beers I saw Lucas standing by the door; he waved me over. Oh shit. Why, why does he want to be alone? _Strength in numbers! _My conscious was screaming at me. _You know what happens in scary movies! The cute little girl always gets lured away and BAM! She wakes up dead! _There was no way I was paying attention to something as annoying as my conscious when Lucas was looking like that, and looking at me that way.

Lucas held the door open for me, just to goose me as I walked by. I let out a loud surprised squeak and flipped him off as I walked to the bench outside. Sitting down I watched as he walked up to me slowly and stood right in front of me. I was eye to cock with him.

"Umm, as much as I'd like to be friends with the anatomy in front of me, I'm not yet. So I'm gonna need for you to move it away from my face." I laughed and pushed on his hip. He chuckled and sat down next to me, instantly slipping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. Did he know it was fucking June? It's way to hot for this nonsense.

"You kind of left me hanging earlier, and that was terribly mean." He gently nuzzled his nose against the wisps of my annoying curly excuse of hair that had escaped the ponytail I had it in. I giggled quietly but pushed him away. I had to stand my ground. For a minute, anyway.

"As I remember it, you attacked me and Em was my savior." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Is that how it was? Are you sure it wasn't you teasing me by poking out that tongue of yours and biting your lip? I'm pretty sure that's what happened, little shit head." He gave my side a gentle squeeze and I thought back to when I was biting my lip; I had really been trying to quit that.

"No sir, it was all you. I'm the helpless victim, didn't you know that?" I made it a special point to whisper it against his ear as softly as I could without breaking into a fit of giggles.

I was treated to Lucas swooping me up and throwing me over his shoulder. What is with these guys and the cavemen tactics?

"Mind telling me what the hell you're doing?" Addressing someone's back is awkward, in case you haven't had this particular experience.

"I'm taking you to my truck so I can strap you in and take advantage of you, of course." He laughed and smacked my ass hard. I flailed a little until I accepted that my only options were falling on my face or giving in and letting him think he had his way.

Getting dropped into the seat of an Explorer really doesn't feel good, and now I knew that. True to his word, Lucas reached over and buckled me in; I was starting to get scared. And by scared I mean really excited. Fuck, he sure did take his time walking around the front of his car. We were going to have to be back inside for the second set before he got his ass in here!

"Damn Beavis, took you long enough to get in the car, huh?" I asked when he finally sat down. He just smiled at me and took my hand in his.

"You know, my dearest Bella, you could make things a lot easier if you'd shut the hell up for more than five seconds." Yeah, he was getting his shins kicked later. I made it a point not to make another sound as I snatched my hand out of his and sat there with my arms crossed over my chest. I didn't even have them crossed in the good way that gives me more cleavage than I know what to do with. I was pushing those bitches down just to piss him off. He had the nerve to sigh all dramatically at me. That's my thing.

He took my hand again.

"Now Bella, let's not make this harder than it needs to be. I actually did have a reason for bringing you out here. We graduate in four days and I know we've kind of talked about what we're all doing afterwards, but I think it's pretty obvious what the band is going to be doing, and I'd really like us to be on the same page here.

I also know that you plan on going to school for pastry arts and Alice is running off to do God knows what. The band is not okay with this. I am not okay with this." He made a point to look me in the eyes and give my hand a light squeeze. Oh hell, he's really serious, and I'm not sure I've ever seen this side of him! I should write this down later…

"Tripp has already talked to Alice and among other things, he's asked her to stay around and help us out. And, I'd really like to know if you'd officially date me. I know it's asking a lot and it's nothing secure but we're more than willing to pay for the help you guys do."

I could tell he was going to keep rambling, but I was more concerned with that fact that _he_ was blushing. That, and I almost choked and died on my own fucking spit cause he shocked the hell out of me. I held up my hand to him in the middle of him going on about…stickers?

"My dearest Lucas, please stop talking, because now you are the one making things _way_ more complicated than they need to be. Did you bring me out here to sit in your hot ass car and ramble on for like, ten fucking minutes just to ask if I'd be your girlfriend?" I was proud of myself; I didn't stutter or blush once. I'd have to write this down also.

He looked down at his free hand, which was currently messing with a loose thread on his jeans, and then he glanced and the hand that was entwined with mine. He looked up at me with maybe one of the prettiest smiles I've ever seen from him before he nodded and said, "Yeah, I guess so." His gaze was making me edgy and it took me a full minute to realize it was because this was the first time I ever saw him look nervous and unsure. How cute.

I laughed. Hard.

"What the fuck Bella? You're really going to sit there and laugh in my face after I just told you how I felt about you? Never mind, I better get inside anyway." He withdrew his hand from mine surprisingly fast and started to shift his gaze everywhere and anywhere but on me, which quickly sobered me up. I stroked his jaw line, which was currently straining and flexing, very gently until I reached his chin and turned his face towards me.

"You are such a dumb boy some times. I need you to realize that like, five minutes ago if you expect me to be your girlfriend for much longer." I smiled at him and watched his face as he processed this information. It really was cute watching him go from being hurt to being confused and finally settling on a big shit-eating grin.

Unbuckling my seatbelt I leaned over the center console and gave Lucas the first real kiss I'd ever given him, and up to that point, it was the best kiss of my entire life.

We walked back into the bar holding hands and sharing enormous grins. I'm sure we looked just like the cats that ate the canary. Ask us if we cared. We would laugh right in your face. As we reached the band table I saw Alice in Tripp's lap with the same big ass grin. A small part of me wondered if they had this planned. A nice hard slap to the ass from Garrett stopped me from pondering it for too long.

The boys, our boys, walked up to the stage and climbed up. Alice and I walked up to the stage arm in arm and looked up at our new boyfriends and our old friends. The first song of the set, and the new song that we were most excited about, suddenly felt very fitting. An expectant crowd gathered around us and we grinned with the secret knowledge of the coming song, no one would expect it, and it would be amazing.

Just before they hit the opening notes, Lucas looked down at me with a smile and a wink. Alice and I watched as the new set started, performed by our new loves, kicking off a new chapter in our lives, and it all began with In the Air Tonight.

**AN:** Oh hai!

I hope you enjoyed the first leg of their journey together.

Please to be checking out **Second Chances **by leannelrh. She's awesomesauce.

Playlist:

Ride Wit Me by Nelly

Fight for your Right by The Beastie Boys

Machine Head by Bush

In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins

Let me know what you guys think so I can make sure the rest of the story is kickass for you.

3


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Hello dears! There are a few new things I'd like to address…

First of all, there are some links in my profile to go along with the chapters, so make sure you check them out.

There is no second…I just wanted to sound official.

I don't own Twilight or any of its super yummy characters, that Meyer chick does.

But I do own footy jammas, all of the Harry Potter books, and lots of heels.

Crap…be warned…there is some citrusy goodness in here. And more foul language.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

BPOVJuly 2007

"Garrett, you get your naked ass over here so I can get you dressed!" Why did I have to yell at a 21-year-old boy to stop running around naked? Oh yeah, because he's a boy.

I swiped my bangs out of my face with the back of my hand as I waited on Garrett to find some underwear. He pranced past me and I caught an eyeful of his tattoo-covered ass. A pair of hot pink lips were a glaring contrast to the ultra white of his ass cheek. He seriously had to have more tattoos on his ass than anyone in the history of tattoos.

We were staying in a hotel in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The rooms were pretty generic with the whole two beds, one desk, one dresser, and one tiny bathroom in ugly neutral colors thing going on; I hated these rooms. Alice and I had only been here for about two hours before we had to start getting the boys ready, and I was dying to get out on the beach. We had all grown up about a half an hour away from the beach in North Carolina when we were young, but we decided, as a group, to move to Chicago right after graduation. The boys had been here for almost a day double checking everything and making all of our arrangements. I was currently stationed in one of the three rooms we had rented on this floor. Alice was in another room a few doors down, and I'm not sure I even wanted to know what was happening in the third bedroom.

A loud squeal escaped as I was picked up and spun around by…a still naked Garrett. This was going to be a fun evening. I could only hope Alice was having better luck getting Tripp and Charles ready for the show.

"Explain to me just one more time why I'm friends with you. And then go ahead and tell me why I ever agreed to help you fools with anything." I huffed while Garrett continued to spin around and around with me in his arms. There was no point in trying to fight him over this.

"Then tell me why I shouldn't punch you in the fuckin' head for touching my girl while you're naked!" Ahh, the sweet voice of my love and savior; a huge smile broke out on my face as I threw Garrett his pants and launched myself at Lucas.

Lucas caught me midair and it was only then that I realized he was shirtless. My heart started to race a little as I wrapped my legs around his waist and placed my hands around the back of his head. This just so happened to be one of my favorite places in the world. He laughed as I gently pulled on his hair; scowling, I yanked on the hair at the back of his neck really hard and bit the skin over his collarbone. There was no laughing then, just a gagging sound coming from…a still naked Garrett!

"G! You've got to be fucking with me! Put your fucking pants on! We still have a lot left to do before I can let you go on stage!" I rested my head on Lucas' shoulder before sighing and sliding down his body until my feet hit the floor.

"Lucas, dear, how opposed to naked wrestling with G are you?" Neither of them found my remark funny, but Garrett sure as shit put his pants on. I held up his two shirt options, knowing exactly which he would pick. He pulled on his gray Affliction t-shirt and stuck his tongue out at me as I snorted at his douchey shirt.

"Ok, love, you are done as soon as you throw on that hat. Now go do something constructive." I have him my best camp counselor smile.

I turned back to face Lucas and found him leaning against the wall with his well toned arms crossed over his inked chest. He had the most beautiful Japanese scene covering his entire torso. Vibrant koi fish and lotus' floated across the front of him; a tiger crouched on his back ready to attack the nearby dragon. It was one of my favorite things about him.

It took me a moment to remember why we were standing here after he flashed me that panty-dropping smirk; every time he threw me that smile my breath caught in my chest. There was a show tonight and Alice and I had talked the boys into letting us dress them about two years ago after Charles' back pocket ripped off; he had to play the rest of the show with his butt cheek hanging out.

"Will you please get your fine ass over here so I can, regrettably, put some clothes on you?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him. He laughed but walked over and scooped me up so I could sit on the table that was holding the boys' clothes. I immediately put my legs around him, pulled him close, and inhaled his beach and boy scent. I bit my bottom lip, sucking my lip ring into my mouth for a moment before I released it and smiled at Lucas. I slid my hands between us and hooked my thumbs into his belt loops. I could feel his muscles contract under my slight contact; leaning in until my lips were a breath away from his, I went in for the kill.

"I don't think you should wear these pants, they make you look…fat." I waited a second until I felt him start to bitch before I kissed him gently on the lips. It was hell trying to pull away once I felt his snakebites against my skin; a soft smile played on my lips when I heard the familiar sound of our lip rings clinking together, it was surely a sound that I would never grow tired of hearing. Pushing him away softly, I reached over and grabbed his favorite pair of button fly jeans. The pants had zippers over the back pockets and I absolutely loved playing with them when he wasn't looking.

"Be a doll and put these on, please?" I looked up at him from under my eyelashes as I held out the pants for him. He made this odd half grunt half sigh noise as he pulled away and dropped his pants. Seeing my boyfriend stand in front of me in only his dark gray boxer briefs was my second favorite thing in the world, second only to seeing him naked. I really felt like the luckiest girl in the world when he looked at me with those hooded eyes; light caught his face just right and I saw that his normally hazel eyes were almost black. This was going to be a long night.

He stepped out of his pants and looked at me with a wicked gleam in his eyes that sent chills down my back. Trying to look nonchalant I picked up his shirt and set it on my lap while pressing my thighs together, trying desperately to release some of the built up tension. This kid had eyes like an eagle, I swear, because he glanced down at my legs and then smirked at me. I was so fucked.

"Garrett doesn't have to wear underwear, so why the hell should I?" He smirked and pulled off his boxer briefs. My poor little heart was about to burst it was beating so fast. Why, after three years, could he still do this to me?

"Because…umm…I won't have to beat any girls' asses if they look at Garrett's junk. But I will have to beat them for looking at yours?" I stumbled out a half-assed answer.

He grabbed my hips and pulled me to the edge of the table. Must. Resist. _Can't fuck before a show. Can't fuck before a show. Can't. Fuck. Before. A. Show._ My subconscious was right…but the rest of me didn't give a damn.

"But baby..." My attempted protest was halted by a rough kiss and a rather large erection pressed against the inside on my thigh. I squirmed with absolute delight.

"…We can't fuck before…" I tried again before he assaulted my neck and ear with kisses. We agreed a long time ago not to have sex before shows, something to do with chemicals in his poor little boy brain that made him want to pass out directly after sex, and that not being good for his stage presence. _Fight, Bella, fight!_

Well, I never was one for confutations anyway.

I shoved him away before I whipped off my tank top. A low throaty "fuck" drifted over to me as I unhooked my bra and called him over with one finger. I loved feeling like I had control in these situations. Once he was close enough I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him to me with my legs, my nipples hardened instantly as they touched his bare chest. I licked his bottom lip lightly until I got to one of his snakebites; pulling his stud between my teeth and tugging, I started to wiggle out of my purple yoga pants. Thank god I hadn't changed into my outfit for the show yet. I could feel my face flush with excitement.

I felt the slight tremble in his hands as he gripped my ass and lifted me up, never breaking our deep kiss. He carried me across the room until I was pinned between him and the door; I was about to ask what the hell he was doing until I heard the lock click. I smiled against his mouth and shifted around until I could feel the head of his dick against my entrance. Another low "fuck" greeted me, and I giggled a little.

"Aww baby, don't tell me you're becoming a little bitch now. I could go find Emmett or Garrett if you want, I mean, I've already had Garrett's dick pressed against my ass once today." I whispered against his ear, my heart thumping with anticipation; he bit my shoulder painfully and I felt the heat flood between my legs.

"I'm being a bitch? We'll see who the bitch is when this is all over." He growled into my neck as he pinned my hands above my head. Two things happened at the same time, he bit down hard on my pierced nipple, and he slammed his cock into me as hard and fast as he could. I screamed out as the two sensations met somewhere in my stomach. Arching my back against the door I managed to free one of my hands and tangle it roughly into his long, dark hair. I pulled his face up to mine and gasped as he thrust into me again.

He cradled my ass with one arm as he brought his free hand up to roughly palm my breast.

"I love how out of proportion you are. No five foot two girl should have natural double-D's. It drives me crazy." His deep raspy voice rumbled down through my ear and into my stomach where it settled, waiting for my release. His voice was absolutely sinful when it was heavy with lust, and was the quickest way to reduce me to a burning pile of want.

Leaning back down to take the barbell that ran through my nipple in his mouth, he roughly pulled on the other with his hand. I freed my imprisoned hand from his grasp and ran both hands down his back, surely leaving marks, which made me downright giddy.

My back banged against the door, on a line that verged on painful, every time he slammed into me. His mouth pressed roughly against my own as he trailed his hand down my shuddering body until the tips of his finger barely grazed my clit. I tried pushing my lower half into him only to have him shove me against the door even harder.

Gasping for breath, I bit down on his bottom lip hard enough for him to whimper slightly until he relented his torture and pressed against my clit with his thumb. I could feel all the muscles in his body contracting, ready to find his release just as I felt the ball in my stomach drop and ready to explode at any moment.

With my head thrown back against the door I didn't see the bite coming to my collarbone, a sure sign that he was about to finish. Two last desperate thrusts was all it took to push him over the edge, gasping for breath he let his forehead fall on my chest. I was moments away from reaching my own orgasm when he…set me down?!

"What the fuck?!" I yelled at him as I pushed him away from me.

"Well, maybe you'll learn your lesson about calling me a bitch." He shrugged at me and walked over to the table and put on his new pants.

I stood there, naked against the door, in complete shock. What the fuck just happened? I mean, you always read about couples that had that "magic connection" or "spark" or what the fuck ever, and it wasn't a secret that I didn't always come from intercourse alone, but for him to pull this shit? I was right there on the edge of my release, and I would _never_ pull some shady shit like that on him. Un-fucking-acceptable.

"Are you kidding me right now, Lucas?" I seemed to have lost the ability to close my mouth, which was still hanging open. I have never felt so cheated, let down, pissed, horny…fuck, you could take your pick.

"You are such a fuckin' dick sometimes! Why do I even put up with your shit?" I unlocked the door and stormed past him to gather my tank top and yoga pants.

"Because…I have a big cock?" He smiled at me as he buttoned up his pants.

Letting out a loud sarcastic laugh I slipped into my yoga pants; just as I was about to throw on my tank top, Emmett busted through the door.

"Alright Bells!" Em pumped his fist in the air and let out a loud whoop. The blush exploded across my face and chest as I pulled my shirt over my head as quickly as possible. I could not believe the day I was having. How much more fuckery could I endure?

"Eww, it smells like sex in here! Did you guys fuck on top of my clothes? Cause that is _not_ cool." Emmett wrinkled his nose up in disgust as I noticed he was standing by the door. A hysterical laugh erupted from my mouth as I doubled over trying to catch my breath.

"What the hell is her problem?" Em was glancing between Lucas and myself with the most bewildered look on his face, which only made me laugh harder. Lucas just shrugged with a very amused expression.

"Its not…your clothes! We fucked on…the door!" I barely managed to get the words out and literally fell on the floor, wiping tears from my eyes. Em and Lucas both started to laugh at me and I swear I was two seconds away from peeing all over myself. Damn them for making me laugh when I was trying to be super pissed.

"Get up you loser and finish dressing me." Lucas called to me as I sat up gasping for breath.

"I should make you look like a fool for that shit you pulled earlier." I scowled at him, humor instantly leaving me. I got up and walked back over to the table with all the clothes; I held out a white button up shirt and black vest, waiting patiently for Lucas to put them on. I looked back at Em who was still looking at me like I was crazy.

"Em, stop looking at me like that. We didn't fuck on top of your clothes, I promise." He finally smiled at me and walked over.

After studying Lucas for a moment I decided to roll up his sleeves to just under his elbows; fuck I loved it when I could see his forearms flexing when he played his guitar. I smacked his ass and pushed him out of the door.

"Okay pretty face, head on over to where the hell ever Alice is set up and she'll get your tie and other accessories on." He kissed me on the forehead as he walked out of the door.

"You guys make me sick for real." Emmett grumbled and he threw clothes around the table.

"First of all Emmett, my largest of large friends, stop messing up my clothes or I'm punching you in the face. Second, you can't be serious right? Are you actually jealous?" I looked at him with concern in my eyes. In all the years I've known Emmett, he's always been against relationships of any kind that didn't end as soon as he got off.

"I don't know, Bells, I guess it's just seein' you and Lucas together, and then Alice and Tripp all the time. Just kinda gets to me sometimes. I don't mean to be all emo today, I'll get over it when it's time to go on stage." He smiled one of his sweet little smiles, but his dimples didn't show. Poor Em, I love him like the big brother I never had, and it really killed me on the inside to see him upset.

I gave him the biggest hug I could muster before he crushed me in a bear hug.

"See, here I was trying to be nice and you're trying to crush me to death!" I punched him in the side.

"Hey, you little fuckin' cheat! No kidney punches!" He hollered as I slipped from his arms and picked up his clothes.

I handed him a pair of black pants and a Tapout shirt to put on. He always bitches about looking like a tool in the shirt, but it fit his look and the girls swooned over it. This is why Alice and I dress them; they are not to be trusted with clothing.

"Bella, why do you always stick me in these stupid shits?" Em huffed at me as he struggled to pull the shirt over his big ass head.

"Because, Em, it gets you ass from the poor unsuspecting girls in the crowd." I sighed way louder than necessary. He let out a booming laugh and smiled at me as he pulled me into a bear hug. I couldn't help but smile up into his big brown eyes.

"You make a very valid point, my little buddy." The little shit head nuggied me on the way out the of door.

"Dick!" I yelled after him as I tired to fix my hair.

Alice must have been taking her time with Tripp and Charles if Emmett had to come to me to get dressed, weird.

We had about an hour before we had to be at the venue to start setting up; it was time for Alice and I to start getting ready. Hurrying down the hallway I yelled out for Alice, forgetting what room she was hiding all our shit in.

"Bella, shut the fuck up and get in here!" I heard her loud mouth from behind the door and walked in. Shock was an extreme understatement for what I felt as I stepped into Alice's room. Normally, everything was organized and laid out in neat little piles, but today, well, today it looked like I was in here trying to organize everything.

"What the hell, Alice? Did you and Tripp have violent sex that just made you throw everything around?" I noticed the bathroom door closed. Great, she was probably getting dressed or something. All I could do was stand there and try to process this mess.

Clothes were hanging from lamps and falling off every surface possible; there was a shoe in the flowerpot and jewelry was scattered around the floor.

"No, asshole. I left the room for like, five fucking minutes and I come back to this mess! It wasn't you?" She emerged from the bathroom with and raised an eyebrow, tapping her little foot.

"Why the fuck would I mess up our clothes? I just finished getting Em's big ass ready. Dude, did we get robbed?" Panic and fear coursed through my veins at the thought.

All of the bands spending money was in here, along with all of our personal electronics.

"Oh my God, I don't know! Everything is such a mess. Look in the dresser in the bible for the money and I'll go check on the computers and everything!" Alice's eyes widened as she thought about it before she rushed off to the bathroom.

Why she kept our electronic shit in the bathroom was beyond me, but if it kept them safe, who was I to complain?

I opened the dresser and pulled out the fake bible we always carried with us. This little thing has saved our asses on more than one occasion. We hollowed out an old book to hide all the money in and slapped a cover from an old bible on it; Charles freaked out hardcore the first time he saw it, until he grasped the fact that we didn't cut up the actual bible. He is such a spaz. I let out a large sigh of relief when I saw the money sitting in the book, completely undisturbed.

"Hey, who got robbed?" Tripp laughed as he walked in the door.

"You little shit! Did you do this?" I held a hanger out towards him.

I swear to baby Jesus, if he had anything to do with the minor heart attack that was currently ripping my chest apart, I'd castrate him. He backed up to the wall and I put the hanger to this throat.

"Tripp, you be honest with me because your life could depend on it…did you have anything to do with this mess?" I was looking him dead in the eyes; his were about three times their normal size. That's right, be afraid.

"No, you little freak. Now get that hanger away from me before you poke my damn eye out." He huffed at me and walked to the bathroom to get Alice.

Alice walked out holding Tripp's hand; she didn't look pissed or freaked out so our shit must have been in there. I felt the remaining tension flow out of my body. Our mess still wasn't explained, but we didn't have time to worry about that right now.

"Ali, we have got to get ready if we are going to be presentable tonight. Do you have any idea where our outfits were last?" I looked around the mess that was our room and hoped like hell she had some clue.

"Umm…last I saw, they were on the far bed. Oh my god! They better not be wrinkled!" She looked horrified as she ran over to the other bed. I was more than a little disturbed that she was more concerned with the clothes than if our money was still here.

I leaned heavily against the wall; between sex and possibly getting robbed, I was damn tired. Tripp walked over and threw an arm around my shoulders as we watched Alice dig through the mound of clothes. I felt Tripp shift next to me and suddenly he was in my ear.

"I think I'm going to tell Alice I love her tonight." He whispered in my ear.

I tried to hold in my shocked gasp. Alice and Tripp had been together for three years and hadn't said the L-word yet, and that was weird for Alice. It wasn't like she threw the word around, but she had told me many times that she loved Tripp, but she was worried these three years that he was only with her because we were with them all the time. I could see in his pretty green eyes that he loved her and worshiped the ground she walked on; they were just too damn scared to say anything to each other, just like when they first dated.

I had been trying to get Alice to just say it already; you could see it in their eyes, but they wouldn't man up and say it. There was no way Tripp would ever leave her, and I knew that was the biggest underlying concern with Alice. It was all getting me be way past ridiculous.

Not that I had much room to talk, Lucas and I still hadn't dropped the L-bomb either. A small part of me wondered why it was so hard to say those three little words, the other part of me didn't give a shit and was flipping off my other half.

"Holy shit! Are you serious?" I tried to speak as quietly as I could; it just wasn't working that well.

"Yeah I'm totally serious. I'd appreciate it if your keep your fuckin' mouth shut long enough for _me_ to tell her." He smirked at me a little before we saw Alice come up triumphant with our outfits.

We pushed Tripp out of the door as we rushed to get ready. Alice was always trying to shove me into some tiny little outfits that barely held in the girls. I looked at the little corset she had planned for tonight and shook my head. It was a black satin bandage halter-top with a zipper running down the front diagonally and various studs that ran parallel to the strips of material. Then she tried to hand me a pair of black liquid leggings.

"Do you know it's fucking July out there? Did you also forget that we dance around the whole time under hot ass stage lights surrounded by hot nasty people? I'm not wearing leggings." I addressed the bathroom door matter-of-factly.

"Yes you are. Stop being such a baby because these are super light. You won't even feel them!" The whining tone of her voice let me know right away there was no sense fighting with her. Why the hell was she changing in the bathroom?

"Fine Alice, I'll wear the fucking leggings." I sighed and pulled the stupid things one. I was already hot.

I stood staring at the box containing my shoes for a good five minutes before I grew the nut sack to take the lid off. With one finger I gently lifted the five-inch cage stiletto heels out of their cardboard prison. My heart skipped a beat. They were beautiful, but they would kill me.

"Alice Brandon! You get your tiny ass out here! Do I _have_ to remind you about the time I broke my nose _walking _across my _flat_ yard?! You're really trying to kill me aren't you?" I yelled at her through the bathroom door. Annoyance surrounded me like a fog as I stomped back over to the bed to put the stupid shoes on.

I had just finished sliding my foot into my shoe as I heard the bathroom door and saw Alice standing there; she looked like she stepped right out of the 80's. She had on a white lace corset with black trim and a black chiffon waist tie, a black python mini skirt barely covered her ass; three inch crimson pumps popped beneath her fishnets. Why didn't she have to wear death trap shoes, and why aren't they giant?

"I hate you." I told her as I stood up and walked out into the hallway.

The boys would either be hiding in a room talking over the set list, or stuffing their faces in the restaurant downstairs. Hopefully there was an elevator, because I was not walking down two flights of stairs in these shoes. I walked back to the room I was working in earlier to check for any of the guys, but no one was there; they weren't in the third room either. Those fuckers were downstairs eating and we had to be at the club to set up in less than an hour.

I stopped back by Alice's room to let her know we had to pry the boys away from food, and in true Alice fashion she started to freak out while still looking great; what a bitch. So we walked arm in arm into the hotel restaurant, only to find out from the doorman that they had left for the club about ten minutes ago. Those dick heads were going to pay this evening. We even pinky promised to make their night hell, and we couldn't be any more excited than we were right then.

EPOV

Shit. Shit. SHIT!

This is such a bad fucking idea.

Jasper and I are hiding in…I mean…we're standing in the elevator, making sure the doors don't close so Jacob and Sam can run in when they are done.

We saw a pretty well known band unloading shit last night, and we know they have three rooms. Jacob wants to steal two amps to replace the two that he ruined at our last show.

What a fuckin' loser.

And now they are running at us all panicky; they are empty-fuckin'-handed. The anger flowing through me is a new experience, and it's making it very hard for me to not punch Jake and Sam in the face as they step onto the elevator and start screaming for us to let go of the doors.

"What the fuck guys? I thought you said this was a fool-proof plan?" Jasper had his hand over his eyes, a sure sign that he was going to lose his cool.

"Shut the fuck up! We fuckin' got in didn't we? It was the wrong room! It was full of a bunch of clothes and computers." Jacob spit as us, his hands were shaking.

As we stepped off the elevator, a guy behind the main desk yelled for us to stop.

We took off running.

Shit.

* * *

**AN: **

Hope you enjoyed the chapter…if not, yell at me in the comments. I like it.

Thanks always to my wifey Arenee363, and Wisdomous and Leannelrh that hold my hand and calm my nerves.

I have a super deep and all consuming love for my WC perves. They complete me.

**Playlist:**

All the Small Things- Blink 182

What's My Age Again?- Blink 182

Weekend Warriors- A Change of Pace

Are You Gonna Be My Girl- Jet

Let me know what you think my loves, so I can make it better for you.

Loveee.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

Here we are again bb's.

This is a short one…and I'm sorry in advance for the end.

As always, thanks to my loves and hold my hand and help me every step of the way.

This chapter had a warning…potty mouths are ahead…and a little bit of citrus.

Remember...I don't own Twilight or any of its yummy characters, that Meyer chick does.

But I do own a lumberjack hat and a Rob calendar.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Oh my God.

What did we _just_ do?

Alice and I were running off stage to the ravenous cheers of close to 500 fans.

We were going to teach the boys a lesson!

Yeah!

We'll show them for leaving us at the hotel…by flashing the crowd?

"Oh fuck, run!" I screamed to Alice, who was barely staying vertical.

"I'm trying!" She gasped out between laughs.

I'm not sure exactly how many shots it took us to decide that this was a super idea, but at some point, we ran past that point and flipped it off.

So, here we were, running around the tiny, cramped hallways of this bar; we had no idea where we were going, but we were trying to get there as fast as possible. There was not a single doubt in our minds that the boys were going to be furious. Needless to say, we sobered up _real_ fast.

We bolted the door to our "dressing room" when we finally found the damn thing; Alice and I looked at each other for a whole five seconds before we busted out laughing. Sliding to the floor, we clutched at our sides until we finally managed to control our selves a little.

"Oh my God, I can't believe we did that!" Alice practically yelled at me.

"I know! They are going to be so pissed when they finish this set, but I'd totally do it again. Also, you're the best for jumping up there with me." I smiled at her as I threw my arm around my best friend's shoulder.

Alice and I were always willing to get into trouble as long as we could do it together. We had short tempers with each other every now and then, but who the hell didn't?

Then I remembered, Tripp was going to drop the L-bomb tonight! I had to get my shit together and help Alice; she'd kick my ass if she found out I knew and I didn't make sure she was perfect first. And I was positive she'd find out. That little midget knew everything.

Hopping up, I held my hand out for Alice. I had to try to play this off. Please God, let me lie just this one time!

"Umm, I need to check your make up! They boys will be less likely to flip out if we look hot." Internally, I crossed my fingers that she'd buy it.

"You're probably right. Nice call, love." She smiled and stood up straight in front of me.

"I have my moments, I guess." I smiled as I began to fix her hair.

We spent the next fifteen minutes making sure our make up and outfits were perfect; we only had to sit on the nasty couch for less than five minutes before the boys started to bang on the door.

Alice and I gave each other a tentative glance before we got up to answer the door together.

"We're so sor…" Alice and I both began before we were swept up in giant, flying hugs.

The boys were laughing and cheering as they filed into the room. I was so damn confused. Everyone had a shot in their hand before anyone formed an actual sentence.

"To the girls! And their girls!" Emmett screamed and we all threw up our glasses and downed our shots.

The boys sent out a collective, "Yeahhhhh!"

"What the hell guys? We were sure you'd kill us." Alice asked from her perch on Tripp's back.

My shock was definitely still in effect as Lucas assaulted my neck with kisses. All I could do was gape at everyone in the room like I had lost control of all my motor functions. Lucas and his lips always had this effect on me; I'd forget my name if someone asked while his tongue was out to playing on my neck like this.

"Well darlin', not only was this one of our best shows ever, but it looks like the little stunt you two pulled got us a few extra fans." Charles stated as he pulled a flask from his back pocket.

"And not that I can fuckin' encourage this shit anymore," Lucas said looking at me pointedly, "but we can't deny the near riot you guys almost started."

"We, as a band, would like to officially offer you ladies a job as our personal stylists." Garrett beamed at me like a proud father. I blushed slightly under his knowing smile.

"If you ladies felt so inclined to get on stage more often, and you know, dance around and get everyone excited, we could probably slide you some extra cash." Em winked at us.

I looked up at Lucas as he squeezed me around my waist; he smiled back down at me and kissed my forehead. This was the Lucas I loved. When we were together and nothing else in the world mattered one bit. I licked my lips quickly before biting down on my bottom lip gently. A heat blazed behind Lucas' eyes that I knew all too well.

His earlier actions were _not_ lost on me, however.

I pushed Lucas away and ran toward Em, knowing he'd catch me. I clamored up onto his shoulders and shot Lucas a smirk. My heart was pounding.

Lucas smirked back at me before leaning against the far wall. His eyes followed Em's hands as he set them on my knees and spun around with me. I could see the tension fall out of his limbs when Em dropped his hands to his side. Even though he didn't look pissed, the constant staring was making me terribly uneasy.

"More shots!" I yelled from atop my personal mountain.

"No shots for us, thanks. I think I'm going to take Alice for a quick walk." Tripp told the group, but not before throwing me a quick nod.

I had to hold back my excited squeal with every fiber in my being. I wonder if Lucas knows about all this? Probably not. Am I really considering telling him I love him tonight, even after all that bull shit earlier? The butterflies beat around in my insides as I realized I was, in fact, going to tell Lucas how I felt.

"Have fun, loves." I gave Tripp and Alice my best cheesy smile as they walked out of the door.

"Baby? Can we go for a walk, too? Please?" My bottom lip was stuck out as I looked down at my boyfriend.

"Of course, anything you want, doll face." He smiled up at me; I quickly climbed down from Em's shoulders.

I stopped just short of Lucas and waited for him to hold out his hand to me. I was far too excited as I folded my small hand into his large one. I was entirely sure my heart would burst through my chest; surely he could feel my pulse race under my wrist. We walked outside and found an empty smokers table where we could sit.

Lucas sat on top of the table as I settled between his knees on the bench. I leaned back against him and rested my head on his thigh. How the Hell was I going to do this? I was a nervous fucking wreck, and who was to say he doesn't freak the fuck out and leave me?

"You guys were amazing tonight, baby." I nuzzled my nose against his inner thigh as he stroked my hair.

"Thank you. Fuck, I always love seeing you down there jumping around, singing along to our songs, and shaking your ass to my voice. I'll never get tired of it." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

This was my chance; he was on a fantastic high after his show, and he already opened up to me a little. I turned around and got up on my knees so I was eye level with him. I locked eyes with him, determined to make sure he understood; taking one last deep breath, I went for it.

"You know I'd do anything for you right?" My gaze fell a little as I waited for him to answer.

"Yeah, I know. Are you ok? You look like you're about to bite your damn lip off." He gently pulled my lip free of my teeth.

"I'm fine. I'm sure you guys never doubted that Alice and I would say yes to being the stylists." I smiled at him.

He nodded.

"And you know I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth?"

He nodded, again.

"I just wanted to tell you before we went any further on this tour," deep breath, "I love you, Lucas. I love you with every single ounce of my being. I can't imagine my life without you now, and I really need to know that you feel the same way, because I'm freaking the fuck out right now." I met his eyes again and begged him silently not to make me wait too long for an answer.

He didn't nod.

He sat there.

He sat there and stared at me.

Fuck. I'm such an idiot.

Panic started to take over my body as I looked down and fidgeted with my shirt a little, only looking up long enough to steal quick glances at his face. What was I gonna do if he didn't say it back? Should I accept it and pretend like it didn't happen? Or do I demand to know how he felt? I chanced one more look at his face.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he placed his hands on either side of my head. I let out a little gasp, not exactly sure if it was because I was scared or relieved that he wasn't simply still staring at me.

He brought his lips to mine roughly, but left his hands pressing gently against my face. My lips were delayed a full second in response to his kiss. I tangled my hands into his hair roughly as I pressed myself to him as closely as I could.

His tongue slid out and gently caressed my bottom lip, and I quickly agreed to his silent request; our tongues swirled and glided against each other in familiarity. A small whimper escaped against his mouth as I felt the heat flood between my legs. I felt a small smile spread across his face before he pulled away slowly. I tightened my grasp on his hair in a futile attempt to keep him here forever.

He chuckled lightly before he kissed me lightly all over my face.

"I promise on everything important in my life, I'm not trying to be a dick like earlier, but we have friends to celebrate with." He sighed against the top of my head.

I nodded without another word. He didn't say it back. That kiss could be taken as his way of saying, "I love you, too", but I was not looking for that at all. I wanted to hear the words come out of his mouth. I was sure that I would feel dumb and embarrassed for saying it if he didn't say it back, but now that I had it off my chest I felt lighter, freer.

Lucas held out his hand for me with a sincere smile plastered across his face, and because I'm a fool, I took it. He opened the door for me as we reached the building, but put his arm out to stop me before I went inside.

"I love you too, baby. I love you more than the world itself." He whispered against my ear in his low throaty voice.

My heart skipped ten beats and my breath caught in my throat. He gave me a small kiss on the cheek and a swat on the ass as I walked past him.

I'm sure we both had big goofy grins on our faces as we entered our dressing room to continue the celebration.

I was attacked by a tiny, flying Alice as soon as we stepped in the room.

"Tripp told me he loves me! He said it! I'm so happy! And now we're the stylists and can go to every single show! Can you believe it? I'm so fucking excited!" She yelled into my ear.

"Lucas and I said it too. I am _very_ excited and _can't_ believe it." I laughed as I hugged my best friend. How could our lives get any better?

The rest of our night was a wild blur of bars, shots, parties, hugs, and drunken kisses. It may have been one of the best nights ever, _if_ we could have remembered it all.

The band spent our next two days off talking about, and planning, the rest of our cross-country tour. We were going to hit 50 cities in 75 days. Charles was going to drive a big- ass RV we had rented. The South Carolina show was the official starting point of our tour and we were itching to get on the road.

Our next stop? Some awesome venue in Atlanta, Georgia, where the likes of The Toadies and The All-American Rejects have played in the last month. We were truly lucky to get a gig here, and we were going to make the most of it.

Alice and I set about gathering all of the clothes and food to stock the RV. We could barely contain ourselves as we sat in on the band meetings for the first time, and made arrangements with the hotels and venues where they'd be playing.

With two days before our show in Atlanta, we set about making sure all of our last minute preparations were under control and in place.

Our bus, which we had decided to call it, because it sounded more "rock and roll", was 40-feet long and had a terrible tan exterior. It could comfortably sleep ten people. There were only two actual beds, and it was peaceably decided that the two couples could have them. It was tricky getting used to everything at first, mostly because beds folded out of random cupboards, and tables would fall if they weren't secured properly. Other than that, Alice and I tried to make it as homey as possible and made sure we stocked it with everyone's favorite foods and goodies. If we were going to live on this bus together for 75 days, we were seriously going to need to tread lightly.

We all settled in comfortably for the first five shows, and learned that we had quite the following everywhere we went. Our first weeks flew by, and we were enjoying the tour immensely.

It was Wednesday night and we had played a badass show in Little Rock the weekend before; we were on our way to some smallish town in Alabama.

We all turned in around 10 that night. Charles was still driving, determined not to lose any time after driving super slow in a horrendous rainstorm. It was agreed that even if we hadn't reached the town where we wanted to spend the night, that Charles would pull over and sleep by 11.

I could hear Em snoring from his bed in the living room; Alice and Tripp were whispering in their room at the other end of the bus, if you could call that whispering.

Lucas had just slipped in behind me wearing nothing but his boxer briefs, he sighed louder than necessary as he slipped his hands under my tank top and pulled it over my head, leaving me in only a pair of purple boy shorts. His logic was that is was unfair for me to have on more clothes than him in bed. I couldn't argue with that logic too much as I turned to face him, pressing my naked chest to his; the feel of my skin sliding against his hard chest with every breath we took was one of my favorite feelings in the world.

"I love you." He whispered

I couldn't imagine being any happier as he pressed a light kiss to my neck; his warm breath fanned across my chest as he exhaled deeply. I pushed my bottom leg between his and threw my other leg over his hip. Lucas pulled me as close as I could get before he leaned in and took my bottom lip between his teeth.

A low moan floated through the small room as he shifted his leg against my center. Mother fuck, I was already soaked. This was the biggest drawback to living on this damn bus; there was zero privacy, especially when you were as loud as Lucas and myself.

Lucas rolled over on top of me, and I arched off of the bed as he pressed his erection against me in the sweetest way. I grabbed his shoulders roughly as he kissed me harder and deeper.

_Stupid underwear. Always in my damn way._

I had just hooked my thumbs under the band of his boxers when the bus swerved violently.

I clung to Lucas as we flew through the air.

It felt like my ears were going to bleed as I tried to tune out the shrieks piercing the air. Half a second passed before I realized it was me screaming.

My head slammed against something hard; I felt the slow warm seep of blood as it made it's way down my scalp.

The screaming stopped.

* * *

**A/N:**

I hope you don't hate me for the cliffy!

Please, let me know what you think. It's the only way I can make it better for you.

I hope you stay around for chapter 4! Its gonna be pretty crazy.

**Play List:**

Bad Girlfriend- Theory of a Deadman

Good Girls Go Bad- Cobra Starship

Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart- Nirvana

All My Loving- The Beatles

Leave me some looooove…and maybe I'll finally let Lucas and Bella get off.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:**

Hello loves. This is it. Chapter 4. The start of the heartfail.

Please please pleaseeee! Don't hate me at the end of this. It'll get better(ish) in the next chapter.

Please remember, I don't own Twilight or any of the yummy characters, that Meyer chick does.

But I do own bunny ears and a zebra print garment bag.

**Special warning** In addition to all the potty mouth goodness in every chapter, there are some scenes of graphic nature. Some readers may find the scenes upsetting, please, please, be careful and I'm sorry if it upsets anyone.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

There was so much screaming and crying.

Who was crying?

It wasn't me. I was too busy shrieking to cry.

A warm hand covered my mouth as I pulled in a breath to scream again. I was in so much pain, it didn't make sense. How can anyone be in this much pain and still be alive?

Maybe it was all in my head; maybe I was barely hurt at all…just scared beyond reason.

There was still a hand covering my mouth. It didn't need to be there, I was done screaming for now.

Why didn't this damn hand move?

I slowly lifted my left hand and placed it over the mystery hand covering my mouth. I followed the arm with my fingers until I reached a broad shoulder. The sight before me curdled my stomach. The hand was truly unnecessary now. I couldn't gasp in any air to scream if I wanted to.

The mystery hand belonged to Lucas, who was contorted into an awful position on his side. Blood pooled all around us. He was crumpled in on himself, except for the one arm reaching out to me. I let out a strangled cry.

How did I _not_ notice all of this blood before? Whose was it?

I could still hear sobs and the occasional scream coming from the other side of our door.

It didn't matter whose the fuck it was. Lucas was hurt and I had to get to him.

A gasp escaped my mouth as I lifted my head. My hand crept closer to my head and touched the back softly; there was a giant cut. Some of this blood was mine.

I managed to get up onto my knees so I could crawl over to Lucas. Something cut into my knee, a small scrape compared to all of the other pains coursing through my body. I looked down to see that I was kneeling on a piece of broken window. The bus was on it's side.

I didn't have time to worry about where the fuck the bus was; other things were far more pressing. Lucas still hadn't moved and that's all that mattered to me right now. Slowly, I made my way over to his side.

I had to roll him over. My heart was stuck somewhere between my throat and my stomach. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at the bloodstained body of my lover. I shook his arm gently, trying my hardest _not_ to break down before I had to.

"Lucas? Baby? Please, answer me!" My voice got higher and more panicked with each unanswered plea and shake.

I held his hand to my face as I sobbed, pressing kisses into his palm and down his arm when I had the breath. I sank down, resting my head on his chest. That's when I felt it. His heartbeat. A small laugh escaped my mouth as I sent up a silent 'thank you' to whoever was looking out for us.

"Baby, you need to open your eyes. I need to see your pretty eyes. Please, let me know you're okay." I begged again as I gently stroked his face.

I pressed a soft kiss to his lips, tasting blood. A hand came down on the back of my head, pulling me just a little closer. His lips pressed back against mine. I pulled away to look at him.

Then I cried harder.

"I…I thought…I…" sucking in a shaking breath, I tried to regain my composure a little.

"I thought I lost you." I sobbed over his chest, his hand still clutched to me.

"I'll be okay. Why are you so bloody, baby? Where are you hurt?" His voice was a low groan as he cupped my face gently.

"I think I cut the back of my head pretty badly, but I don't care. Where are _you_ hurt?" I sat up to get a better look at him.

He fought back a cry of pain as he tried to sit up a bit; I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in when I saw him lean on his elbow. He seemed to be focusing hard on trying to pinpoint his pain. I watched as he slowly moved all of his limbs and grew a little calmer with each measured movement of his strong body.

"I don't think anything is broken; my leg has a nice cut on it though. Are you sure nothing is broken on you?" He looked me in the eyes.

I nodded as I saw his expression change. The sudden tension in his eyes and jaw scared me a little, and I knew he was going to assume the role of a leader, as he often had.

It was only now that I was sure Lucas and I were okay for the moment, that I let the screams and sobbing filter back into my mind. Somewhere on this bus at least one of our friends was hurt, or scared, and neither of those were okay with me.

Lucas got to his feet, wincing as he placed his weight on his left leg, which I now saw had at least a 10-inch long gash. I stifled a gag as I watched the blood stream down his leg; I was pretty sure his muscle was bulging out and exposed. Adrenaline must have been overpowering the pain as he held out a hand to help me up.

Luckily, our door was thrown open when the bus crashed. I had heard horrible stories about people being trapped in their tiny room, unable to get out or for others to get in. We threw on the closest clothes we could find and slid some suitcases over for Lucas to stand on. Once he was on the other side, he helped me over the threshold.

The scene that greeted us on the other side of the wall was far worse than the blood soaked floor of our room. Whole sections of wall were ripped off, while other areas had been dented inward. Everything Alice and I had painstakingly found a home for in their cupboards and drawers were all over the floor. I had nothing of which to compare the destruction. My eyes darted from the real floor, to the wall I was standing on as my new floor, to the drawers and cupboards that were still swinging back and forth on their hinges.

Looking to my right, the sight in front of me causes bile to rise in my throat; I fought to keep it at bay. I couldn't take it anymore and my stomach finally won the battle as I hurled violently beside me. Hysterical sobs broke my body in half as I doubled over, throwing up again. I fought to keep my eyes open. The pain of never blinking again or tearing out my eyes would be paradise compared to the vision that would haunt me, behind my eyelids, for the rest of my life. I could feel Lucas starting to shake as he rubbed my back gently.

My eyes shut on their own as I retched again. Instantly, the vision of Garrett's broken body assaulted my brain. Shaking and crying over his form would be an act of futility at this point; there was no way someone could live after having their neck bent at that angle. His left arm was turned backwards and thrown across his chest; his right arm was trapped under his body which was hanging limply over a short row of cabinets. Nothing was worse than seeing his tears, still wet, and sliding down his cheeks. He was clutching the stuffed bear that his mother gave to him when he was four, he slept with it every night.

A small part of me noticed the absence of Lucas' hand, but then I heard him throwing up somewhere as well.

"Bella! Bella, help!" Alice's screams broke me out of my stupor.

My head snapped up as I searched frantically for the voice of my best friend. I turned toward their room and saw half of her perfect little face looking at me through a crack in the door; her arm shot out of the small opening as I got closer and I cried into her tiny hand.

"Alice! Are you okay? Where's Tripp? Is he hurt? Oh my God, please tell me you guys are okay." I prayed that they were okay. I couldn't take another loss.

"I'm mostly okay, a few small cuts and bruises. Tripp is unconscious, but breathing. He has a huge bump on his head, but I think it's just a concussion. How is everyone else? No one would answer." She grew steadily calmer as she spoke to me.

She didn't know about Garrett. I looked around for Lucas as I stalled. He must have gone to find everyone else because he wasn't in the living room anymore. Alice shifted behind the door and I could see one of her eyes, and she was starting to panic.

"Well, I have a cut on the back of my head, Lucas has a giant, nasty cut on his leg and umm...I've only seen Garrett since we got out of the room and, umm…" I trailed off as I tried to take deep breaths. There was no use freaking out again and leaving Alice in that room to deal with it alone.

Alice shook my hand impatiently. "Garrett…he didn't make it, Alice." I said as tears started to creep down my cheeks again.

"Oh no! No, Bella! You're lying! Tell me! Tell me you're lying, Bella! He cant be dead! He can't! Get me the fuck out of here, I need to help him! He's just kidding…get me the fuck out of here, Bella!" She was screaming hysterically and scratching at the door.

"Alice, please calm down, you're going to cut your arm." I tried to stop her hands, which only served to piss her off more.

I could hear her sobs coming through the door and they cut me down to my soul. I couldn't stand to hear my friend in this much pain. So I stood there, shaking and covered in blood, tears, and I'm sure a little bit of vomit, just holding my best friend's hand while she broke down inside the room where she was trapped.

Lucas placed an arm around my waist and his forehead on my shoulder.

He was shaking again.

"Baby, what's wrong? Where are Charles and Em? Tripp and Alice are fine, honey." I wasn't sure if I was reassuring him, or trying to distract myself from the idea of Charles and Em being hurt.

"I found Emmett. He was laying on the ground outside, his leg and some ribs are broken for sure. He thinks he got thrown out of the bus somehow because he doesn't remember getting out himself, and there are no footprints leading up to him so I guess he could have been." He let out a loud sigh. "Charles is still buckled into his seat. I don't trust my leg to try and get him out by myself, but umm…I guess there's no rush." He stammered at the end as a tear slid down his cheek.

My world, which had slowed to a crawl since I blacked out, came to an abrupt stop as I processed Lucas' words. I only vaguely felt the strong arm around my waist, and the tiny hand clutching mine; nothing was making sense, things could not be this bad.

I was dreaming, or still unconscious. There was no other explanation.

Surely, all of our lives could not be this drastically damaged in a matter of what…minutes?…hours? I didn't even know how long we had been sitting here, wherever the fuck we were.

"Lucas, where are we? Are people going to see us? Did you call for help? Is anyone coming? What's going to happen to us? We have to get Alice out! Tripp is still hurt! What the fuck is going to happen!" I fell to my knees, not even halfway through my freak out.

My forehead thumped against the floor and onto broken glass. I grabbed fistfuls of hair and pulled. I couldn't take anymore. There was no coming back from this. This was going to be the day that ruined all of us.

Lucas dropped down next to me and whispered his words of love in my ear over and over, begging me to get up. Alice was still crying in her room, but I think they were tears of relief at the moment. I was sure I heard a deep voice coming through the crack of their door now.

"Jesus, he's awake. Tripp's awake." Alice informed us from between the door.

Just a few seconds later, we heard more crying, and a few low groans from Tripp. I know that Alice's heart was breaking having to tell him about Garrett; my heart ached for her all over again.

"Go fucking check on Em, I don't want him freezing to death out there alone." I shook off Lucas as I straightened back up. He walked out without another word.

I covered Garrett with a blanket, and gave myself a mental pat on the back when I didn't throw up again; I felt oddly numb to everything now.

"Alice, how is that door being held open?" I called to her over my shoulder.

"Umm, I managed to wedge it open with a piece of the wall that broke off. It's the only thing we have in here besides clothes and shoes." Her voice was slightly stronger, and I was certain that she was drawing a little strength from Tripp. He was always so calm and collected during a crisis. I hoped that he could keep Alice calm enough until someone found us.

"Is Tripp okay?" I asked as I walked back to the door.

"Yeah, I'm okay, Bells. Nothing can hurt my thick-ass skull, remember?" I could imagine the smirk he tried to force coming out all wrong. This is one problem he couldn't smile away. I thought back to the many times I've seen him smack himself in the back of the head with his guitar, and never even flinched.

"Okay, I kind of have a plan. You two lift up this damn door as high as you can and I'll throw shit in there to prop it open." I put the sturdiest objects around me into a pile at my feet.

We managed to lift the door about a foot and a half before Alice was able to slide out. We embraced immediately and soon felt the thin, but muscular arms of Tripp encircle us.

"Is this what I've been missing, sexy chick hugs? Get out of the way, Tripp, you're ruining it for me." Emmett said as he hobbled in, using Lucas as a crutch.

I'd much rather be outside, away from all of this, but it was so damn cold. I didn't trust that we could find enough blankets and clothes to bundle up in to keep warm, especially since we didn't know how long we'd have to wait.

We all let out little, relieved laughs as we helped Em back down to the ground. I sat next to him for a few minutes, relaxing slightly in his calming presence. Surely Em knew that this was no time to joke, but I understood that it was his way to cope with things.

"I'm sorry I freaked out earlier. I just…I don't know what to do and it's killing me." I let my head fall against Emmett's shoulder.

"Nice choice of words, puddin' pop." Em sighed as he threw his arm around me.

"Are you sure you were in the same accident as us? How can you be joking right now? That's our friend right fucking there…dead. I can't believe you, Emmett." Alice stormed outside, Tripp chased after her.

We all shared a look of shock. None of us have ever seen Alice lose her cool like that. It felt like an eternity had passed since I came out of the back room, but the watch on Em's wrist said it was only 10:47 pm. I remember looking at a clock for a split second when this all started, and I was pretty sure that clock said it was 10:22. It had only been twenty-five minutes…of pure hell.

I came up behind Lucas and almost slipped my arms around his waist, before I remembered both of our backs were soaked with blood. It astounded me that I could keep forgetting about all of the injuries we sustained, but I guess it was nothing compared to what we'd lost tonight.

"Baby, why don't you sit down with me, I know your leg has to hurt." I grabbed his hand lightly.

"I'm pretty sure no one can see us down here. We're laying at the bottom of a hill. I'm going to walk up and wait by the road. All the cell phones are lost or destroyed. Go figure, right?" He let a small smirk show for a moment before he tried to step forward. Panic flopped around in my stomach as I processed his words. We were all stuck here.

"Hold on, I'll go with." I grabbed a blanket off of the floor before he had a chance to object.

I could really tell his leg was bothering him on the short hike up the hill. He used me for support most of the way, and we even had to take a small break while he collected himself.

Giant gouges had been ripped from the side of the hill as the bus rolled; the entire side was covered in broken glass, pieces of metal, and other random objects from inside of the bus. I wondered idly who was going to have to pick up all of this shit. Probably some convicts or something.

We sat on the side of the road, huddled beneath my blanket, and waited for a car to drive by. Hopefully, we wouldn't be mistaken for murderers with all of this blood on us. Wouldn't that be some shit?

I let my head rest on Lucas' shoulder for a bit before I really started to feel the pain at the back of my skull. Maybe it's fractured. Fuck. A large hand came down on my knee, rubbing slow, relaxing circles. It was truly amazing how much small things like this could mean to me now, after almost losing all of it. Tears welled up in my eyes again, but I quickly wiped them away.

"I love you, Lucas." I whispered against his shoulder.

I felt a soft kiss on the top of my head. "I love you, too."

It took less than twenty minutes for someone to drive by and see us. I hopped up and waved my arms as Lucas struggled to stand on his leg. We must have been a sight, but the car pulled over and called the cops for us.

Within minutes we had an army of cops, fire trucks, and ambulances surrounding us and rescuing our friends.

Lucas and I sat in the back of an ambulance as we watched our friends being carried up on stretchers; only two were covered in sheets.

"Miss Swan, we need you to lay down now. Your friends will be at the hospital with you soon." EMT-whose-name-I-couldn't-remember, told me. He had a kind face and gentle hands.

"Lucas can't ride with me?" I panicked a little and some machine went off next to me.

_When did they stick needles in me?_

"No, ma'am, he has to go in his own so they can start treating his leg." He explained to me very calmly.

I only realized that I was biting my lip when Lucas leaned in and pulled it loose with his own teeth.

"Be nice to the EMT, baby. I'll see you soon." He told me with a final kiss.

I must have fallen asleep on the way to the hospital, or they were pumping me full of medicine already, because I woke up in a hospital bed.

A monitor beeped somewhere nearby and it sent mind-numbing pain straight to the back of my head; I carefully felt around my head with my hand. A shocked gasp got stuck somewhere in my throat, threatening to choke me.

They shaved part of my head. What the fuck?!

It took me a few minutes to deduce that they probably had to put in stitches; all of the dried blood in my hair probably didn't help my case any, either. I realized that it was completely ridiculous to worry about my hair at a time like this, but it really just put the icing on the cake of my terrible day. Way to get in that last kick while I'm down, Life.

A low groan finally made its way out of my mouth and I wondered if Alice would be able to hide the big ass clump of missing hair.

The curtain, that I hadn't fully noticed, that divided the room suddenly burst open, and there stood the very friend I was just thinking about. Tears were over flowing from her bright, large eyes as she looked down at me.

She rushed over and threw herself on top of me.

"Oww, Alice, kind of in a hospital bed here, and I think you should see this." I added at the last second as I saw the hurt start to crawl up her face.

I leaned forward to show Alice the offending bald spot, and this time, it was her turn to gasp.

"No they didn't! Do you want me to talk to someone about this? Totally unnecessary!" My pixie stomped off to find some justice.

All I could do was laugh. It felt great to laugh. It had to be the drugs.

A small chuckle told me that I wasn't in the room alone.

I looked over to see the twinkling hazel eyes of Lucas, lying in the bed next to me. His 6'3" frame dwarfed the bed; it kind of made me giggle. I was so glad that he could still look at me like he was, after the accident. I mean, people change all the time after near-death experiences, right? Hopefully, we wouldn't fall victim to that in the future.

"I've been waiting for you to wake up forever." He smiled at me.

"Well, I was waiting for you to wake up in that damn bus for-fuckin'-ever. So, I guess pay back really is a bitch." I giggled again as he scowled at me from across the room.

He shifted a little in his bed and I could see the pain shoot across his face. His leg must have been worse than I thought. If I really focused, I could make out the outline of a big-ass bandage wrapped around it.

An all too familiar sigh came from the doorway, and it was magic to my ears. Tripp stood leaning against the doorframe, shaking his head. I wiped the tears away from my eyes before they had a chance to fall.

"Tripp, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but it's so good to see you." I smiled up at him.

"You're such a bitch, Bells." He plopped on my bed. "But, fuck, I missed you a shit-ton and a half." His lips met my forehead in a light kiss, and I tried _really_ hard not to cry.

"Now, get ready, I'm pushing you bitches together." Tripp stated as he went over to the side of my bed.

Just as I was about to laugh and tell him to fuck off, my bed jerked, and I was scooting across the room. Tripp walked over to Lucas and a wicked laugh bubbled up over the sadness as I fought to catch my breath.

"Tripp, honey, you could at least pretend that you tried to tie the ugly gown thing." His whole ass was sticking out of the back of his stupid hospital gown.

He just shrugged and hit Lucas on the shoulder.

"Ali and I are just down the hall, if you get bored," he said from the doorway again. "Oh, and the police will probably be here in a few minutes to talk to you guys. This shit is all over the news. Too bad we're getting all of this extra attention after the band is broken up."

I stared, openmouthed, at the spot where Tripp had just been standing. Broken up? When the fuck did we break up? Lucas grabbed my hand from his bed and gave it a few light kisses.

It seemed like mere seconds had passed before there was a knock on the doorframe. Two police officers loomed in the entrance. Lucas asked them to come in as I froze in my bed.

"Mr. Morgan, Miss Swan. I'm Detective Long, and this is my partner Detective Thomas, but you can call us, Robbie and David, if you'd like. We're here to ask you a few questions about the accident." Robbie came forward and shook both of our hands.

He was a good-looking man. He'd probably tower over me if I stood next to him, and was only a little bit smaller than Emmett, in the muscle department. At first glance he was truly intimidating, but as he got closer and spoke to us, he radiated warmth and comfort. An easy grin looked natural on his face, even in this hospital room. His brown curly hair fell into his eyes as he looked down at some papers; icy blue eyes settled on my own.

David pulled up two chairs and sat down closest to Lucas. He was barely taller than me, and verged on being too skinny. His dull light brown hair was buzzed and his green eyes were constantly shifting around the room. While he didn't come off as cold or mean, he was definitely closed off and guarded. I wondered if he had spent time over seas. I blushed when he caught me analyzing him.

"Well, I guess we'll start at the very beginning. Where were you when the accident took place, Miss Swan?" Robbie asked. Lucas gripped my hand and David started to scribble on his legal pad.

"Umm, you can call me Bella; I was in the very back room with Lucas. We were just settling into bed when we went off the road I guess. I got thrown into something and passed out." I hoped they didn't see the blush assault my cheeks when I talked about us being in bed.

"And what happened when you woke up?" Concern made him furrow his brows, and a part of me was warmed that a stranger would care so much about what happened to us.

"I was really disoriented, but had to check on Lucas; he was passed out next to me." A single tear slipped down my cheek. Lucas brought our connected hands up to wipe it away.

"Is it ok if I tell the rest? She's been through a lot and I'd like her to relax." Lucas asked.

Robbie simply nodded, and listened intently while Lucas recounted the rest of our time on the bus. David just sat there taking diligent notes while Robbie sat wide-eyed as he heard our story. I was shocked when David got up to hand me some tissues to dry my eyes. My heart was breaking into pieces all over again, but it mended itself a little with this kind gesture.

Robbie and David sat with us for over an hour and a half, asking questions and giving us time to deal with the fresh emotions as they came.

After we gave our statements we were told that early reports were coming out indicating that something in the steering shaft of the bus broke, causing Charles to lose control. A small sigh of relief left me as I realized that it wasn't Charles' fault, and it would have happened no matter who was driving. Robbie and David left their condolences as they exited the room.

Lucas and I stared into each other's eyes in silence for a few minutes. The band lawyers knocked on the door, breaking into our little bubble. We heard more explanations about the steering shaft, the bus itself, all our shit inside, and the loss of life sustained because of the accident.

I was tired of hearing our lives condensed down into numbers: how many news outlets wanted the story, how much everything was worth, how much it was going to cost to cancel the rest of the tour, how many contracts were going to be breached, and how much money we were all going to walk away with, which turned out to be quite a lot.

Possibly the only good news was hearing how many fans had tried to reach out to comfort us. We had Facebook and MySpace groups set up where fans could leave notes, and there was a fundraiser being set up to help pay for the hospital bills and the funerals of our friends. With no way to tell the fans it wasn't needed, we decided to donate all of the money to a charity the fans picked.

We all hobbled, or wheeled, ourselves into Emmett's room, who was by far the worst of us all, and talked about funeral arrangements. Everything was left up to us as Charles' parents were somewhere in Africa on a mission trip. Garrett left his family a long time ago, opting to stay with one of the band members instead; I couldn't remember the last time he talked about any type of family. It would be a joint affair and open to anyone that wanted to attend. Alice and I clung to each other and cried softly as we hammered out all of the details. It was going to take place in just over a week and a half, in Chicago.

In a unanimous decision, it was decided that we would all take a break while we healed. Alice and I would be on our way to California to vacation while Lucas, Tripp, and Emmett would be heading back to Chicago to decide in which direction the band was headed.

My heart broke as we all said goodbye at the airport the day after we were released from the hospital. Only three days had passed since the accident, and I could feel my nerves bunching up in my stomach. I cried into Lucas' shoulder as he held me at my gate. Who decided this was a good idea again? My flight wasn't scheduled to take off for another twenty minutes, but Lucas had to crutch his cute ass all the way across the airport to make his plane.

"I love you, Lucas. Please don't forget that while I'm gone." I tried to smile up at him, but apparently it didn't turn out right because he just laughed at me.

"I won't, baby. Don't you go meeting any surfer douches, I don't want to fly out there just to beat some ass." He kissed my tear stained cheeks. "I love you too. Don't _you_ forget it."

My lips crushed against his as I kissed him goodbye, unwilling to accept that we had to be apart.

I watched with tears in my eyes as he hobbled down the terminal. Alice dropped down beside me and put her forehead on my back.

"Who said this was going to be a good idea?" She huffed into my shirt.

"Pretty sure it was you, sweet cheeks." I turned around to hold onto my friend; I spotted Tripp's retreating form amongst the crowd.

My new cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I scrambled to answer it, not sure if it was a call or text. It was so weird to use the damn thing, we were all with each other all the time; we never needed them before.

A small smile played on my lips as I got up to board the plane.

_B,_

_I'm serious._

_Don't fall for those surfer fuckers._

_I'd hate to have to spank you for being bad._

_Love you._

_~L_

Alice and I found our seats as I typed out a quick response.

_L,_

_Do you promise you'll spank me?_

_I'm on the lookout for surfers right this second._

_I'll send you a lovely crotch shot ;)_

_Heart you_

_~B_

Giggles escaped from Alice as she read the texts over my shoulder. Just as the overhead speaker chimed to life, I got another text.

_B,_

_I hate you._

_I'll go find some groupie sluts to play with._

_Have a lovely flight._

_~L_

I sat there stunned, re-reading the text; he didn't sound like he was joking. I didn't have enough time to worry about it as a flight attendant came by and warned me against the dangers of using a cell phone during the flight.

What a bitch. I hope she trips while handing out my in-flight snack.

"Ten days. Ten days, and I can see my Tripp again." Alice smiled and covered up with her blanket.

I sighed and leaned against her shoulder, glad to know we were both counting down the days.

* * *

**AN:**

Did you make it past the heatfail?

I hope so.

Things will be better in 5. I promise.

Also, this chapter was choppy and a bit chaotic to read. It's on purpose, I assure you.

I wouldn't be all cool, calm, and collected after something like that, so neither is my Bella.

It is as important now as ever for you to tell me what you think. Push that little button and yell at me, or hold my hand as I hide in the corner.

Anddd while your at it, go read **The Diner** by Jessypt. She is beyond awesome, and so is her Chefward.

**Play List:**

Hurt- Johnny Cash

The News- Jack Johnson

Let It Be- Timmy Mitchum (Across the Universe soundtrack)

Leavin' on a Jet Plane- John Denver


	5. Chapter 5

AN:

Hey loves!

First of all, I have to say a HUGE thank you to everyone that reviews. It makes my freakin night, and I need you to know this.

Also, I'm in the middle of moving to a new state. So if it takes me a bit to get to you and your review, I'm reallllly sorry. Blame my loser new roommate that doesn't have internet, and my neighbor who's crappy internet I'm currently stealing.

Remember, I don't own Twilight or any of the yummy characters, that Meyer chick does.

But I do own a new tattoo, new NERF gun (that's right….NERF), and cupcake jars.

**WARNING!** There is more potty mouth in this chapter, and there will be in every chapter. There is also a pretty intense lemon. Be warned.

Chapter 5

I'm not sure how I got talked into this vacation, or why any of us thought it would be a good idea to separate. Alice and I hadn't been on the plane for more than twenty minutes before we noticed a guy across the aisle reading an article about the crash, and of course before the in-flight movie started they were showing the news, and there we were. I slouched down into my seat a little further when I realized a few people were looking at us.

Thankfully, I could count on Alice to make us nifty little carry on bags; I would never have the foresight to plan these kinds of things out. I shifted things around in the bag to take inventory: two bottles of water, two books, my iPod, and a huge assortment of snacks. My friend knew me so very well. I fought back tears as I looked over at Alice; her little head was bobbing along to some unknown song.

She had her hair up in a faux-hawk and tinted hot pink. Her turquoise cardigan hung over her purple tank top lightly and I wondered if anyone else on the planet could get away with dressing like she did. She would have been casual today with her jeans if she hadn't paired them with giant heels and layers and layers of jewelry. I was baffled at the way she managed to be classy and eccentric at the same time.

I'm sure I looked like a big hot mess sitting next to her in my ripped up jeans, smart ass t-shirt, and fluorescent yellow Vans. I absolutely hated flying, and was going to make it as comfortable as I could. Alice scolded me as I threw my hair up into a messy bun as soon as we sat down.

"What if someone important is on this plane? You want to look like a bum?" She tapped her little foot at me.

"Why, yes, I do. If someone on this plane has a problem with the way I'm dressed they can suck it." I smiled as she crossed her arms over her chest.

We had a short stop at the Memphis International Airport while new passengers boarded the plane. Alice took this time to scan the remaining travelers, no doubt looking for someone important to throw in my face, but quickly turned around with an ashen face.

"What's the matter, Alice? Did Ryan Reynolds get on the plane or something?" I laughed quietly.

She didn't move, not a single inch. I started to get worried when she didn't answer so I turned around to examine the crowd. I had no idea what had her freaked out, I didn't see anyone famous.

"Ali, what's wrong?" I asked again, shaking her arm.

"You don't fuckin' see him? He's like three rows back. I can't believe I'm on the same fucking plane as that motherfucker. " She spat out the last few words with more venom in her voice than I've ever heard her use.

I looked back again, and there he was. Jacob Black was three rows back and looking at me with a curious stare.

That son of a bitch.

Jacob and a few friends basically ran the small private school they attended. Lucas and Tripp dogged him pretty hard at a party one year and Jacob never got over it; he tried to use Alice to get his revenge. Alice was immediately infatuated with him, and no one could really blame her at the time.

Jacob was easily pushing seven feet tall and was built like a running back. He had easy but defined muscles, and a smile that went on for days. He was nice enough to everyone's face, but he had a wicked mean streak and held grudges. His "bad boy" image was made up mostly of lies and his ability to stay upright on his little piece of shit motorcycle. Of course, we didn't know any of this until it was too late.

Lucas and Tripp had never liked him and made it a point to let him know it at a party. I was never allowed to hear what exactly was said, but I imagined it had to be pretty fucking bad if they got worked up enough to start throwing punches. They were quickly outnumbered by Jake's friends and got hurt pretty bad, but not before landing a few punches to Jake's face. They walked away with a few bruises and a bloody lip; Jake had to have his jaw wired shut for five weeks.

Jake had managed to talk Alice into going to a party without any of us there, at which point he tried to drug her. The only thing that saved her was the fact that Lauren Mallory took Alice's drink by mistake. Thankfully, she saw what was happening and got her ass out of there. We were all ready to kill him, but Alice told us he wasn't worth the trouble and to forget about it.

"Hey, I thought that was you guys. Lookin' good, Ali." Jake smiled down at us and a low hiss escaped me.

"Why don't you go sit the fuck down, Jacob? We'd like to pretend you don't exist the rest of our lives." I sneered at him.

"Well from what I hear, ya'll aren't living long these days." He started to laugh, but was cut off rather forcefully.

By Alice's fist to his junk.

"I always knew you had a small dick. Now, get away from us." She smiled at him sweetly.

We watched with big grins as he shuffled back to his seat, cupping his balls the whole way.

"I love it, boo." I high-fived Alice.

"He had it coming after all that shady shit he pulled." She huffed as she put her ear buds back in and started humming.

We gasped as we pulled up in front of our hotel, it was huge. Emmett had booked the hotel so we had no idea where we were staying, and to say that this exceeded our expectations was quite the understatement.

Our mouths dropped open when we walked into our suite on the eighth floor. The living room area was bigger than the apartment we shared in Chicago, and by a good amount. A piano sat near the windows that looked down onto the beach. Instantly, I wished I could play the piano, or could surf or something. This room was mocking all the things I couldn't do, but I vowed to learn how as soon as possible.

I heard Alice squeal from somewhere to my left; I followed the sound of clicking heels to hunt her down, she was standing in the middle of the bathtub with the biggest grin on her face.

"It has fifteen jets, and can seat up to five people. Can we get one?" She looked at me like she was talking about a lost little puppy. I couldn't help the hysterical laughing that flew from my lips.

"It's fine with me, but lets ask the guys first." My stomach hurt I was laughing so damn hard.

I walked across the suite to my bedroom where I flopped onto my bed. It was so damn comfy and big; I was left with no choice but to jump on it. Alice flew into my room and jumped with me until we fell down laughing again.

We did absolutely nothing on our vacation. No clubs, no parties, nothing, and it was wonderful. We lounged by the pool and collected shells off the beach; we ate at fancy restaurants and taunted boys playing in the sand. Lucas and Tripp called us at least twice a day demanding to know what we were doing, and I'm pretty sure they didn't believe we were having a great time doing nothing.

Truth be told, we were fucking exhausted, and not just because of the accident. We were always up and on the go, running from here to there to get shit done for the boys, and it wore us right the fuck out. Our job was amazing, and we got to be with the people we loved most in the world, but it could be a bit much every now and then.

On our last day we decided to go get tattoos. We both had our fair share of tattoos and piercings, but we were getting the itch for a new one. It was never a shock to the guys when we'd come home from a "shopping adventure" with fresh ink or a piercing they couldn't play with yet.

I had an old school black and white dragon crawling down my entire right arm with colorful lotus' and waves crashing around it. I got it done the day after one of my best friends from school died from an aneurysm; it was the design she was going to get as her graduation present. She had the entire thing worked out with the artist I used so it was easy enough to get him to agree to ink me. The only thing I changed was adding her birth and death dates on my wrist.

I also had four flowers tied together in a small bouquet on my left ribcage. The largest was a purple and yellow tiger lily for me, a pink tulip for my mother, Renee, a bright yellow rose for Alice, and baby's breath for my Gran. A pink ribbon bound them together to symbolize the fight against breast cancer that Gran had lost, and that my mother was fighting everyday.

An Irish claddagh covered the back of my neck, the tree of life fanned across my thin calf muscle, brass knuckles adorned my left ribcage, a cupcake hid behind each of my ears, and 'je ne regrette rien' on my left wrist were just the tip of the iceberg when it came to my art work.

I had steel sticking out of me in various places like my lip, my nipples, my bellybutton, and about six different places in each ear. My father, Charlie, almost had a heart attack when I came home with my lip pierced, but I was 18 and he couldn't do much more about it than turn purple for awhile. Being the only daughter of the chief of police is _almost _worse than being the preacher's daughter.

Alice and I only felt it right to get a tattoo to commemorate our late friends. So here we were, standing at the counter picking out a font that would do Garrett and Charles proud; anything bold and over the top would work.

The little girl behind the counter, I think she said her name was Meagan, was looking at us with pity in her bright blue eyes, and it bugged the fuck out of me. It had been a nonstop-pity-glance party from strangers since we'd had our faces plastered all over every news outlet we could imagine. Who knew that so much attention would be paid to a smallish band that was in a bus accident?

"Umm…" Meagan fidgeted, "I'm supposed to tell you that these tattoos will be on the house. The owner was a big fan and sends his condolences."

"Thanks, I guess. But how the hell was he a fan? We've never played on this coast." Alice gaped at the poor little girl. She could be damn intimidating when she wanted to be.

"MySpace." She shrugged like it was the only obvious answer.

"I see, well, thanks. We're just getting something pretty small anyway." I reassured her.

Meagan and I jumped as Alice slapped her hand on the book she was flipping through with blinding speed.

"I found it!" She yelled.

Three and a half hours later we were leaving with free, matching tattoos.

'Life is not a disguise' flowed down the inside of our left biceps in an off the wall font.

There was no more pretending that we'd live forever as rich and famous rock stars. We had to take every moment for what it was, be it good, terrible, or hilariously stupid, because it could be the last one we'd ever get to share with each other. Learning to love the little things and marvel at the magic that surrounded us everyday was the best way that we could repay our friends and honor their memories.

Apparently Alice was starting right this second because she broke out in a fit of giggles on the sidewalk.

"Oh my God! Did you just snort? Please tell me what is so damn funny." I tried hard not to laugh at her…and her snort.

"I was just thinkin'…" She started.

"Oh shit! Watch out!"

"Shut it bitch. I was just thinking about how excited Garrett would be that something we got for him will be touching out boobs every single day. At least till they sag down too far." She let out a small sigh as she started to get control of herself.

I grinned, knowing that she was right. I was positive that he was floating his little cloud around (because he was definitely in heaven, 'cause All Dogs go to Heaven, right?) to all of his new friends and talking about all the "boob play" he was getting from us, even after he was gone.

We landed in O'Hare just before two in the afternoon the next day, and we were greeted by vice-grip tight hugs and sloppy kisses. Alice was smooshing the flowers Tripp got her between them as they kissed with way too much passion for public.

"What, no flowers for me? Big jerk." I kissed Lucas' neck as he held me even tighter.

"Fuck no. I'm not gonna look like some giant pussy carrying that shit around the fuckin' airport," he scoffed at me. Anger filtered through his words, taking me by surprise.

I looked up into his face and saw a smile trying to shine through. That fucker was such a good actor when he felt like it.

"But I may or may not be holding cupcakes hostage out in the car." His smirk finally won and shone on his beautiful face.

"Damn you, you know just how to get into my pants." I giggled as he smacked my ass on our way to the baggage claim area.

We finally got all of our luggage after an eternity of waiting for Alice's million bags. I practically ran to the parking garage.

Ahhh, Lucas' car, a canary yellow 1965 Mustang convertible, was enough to make my lady bits quiver with excitement all by itself. Then I saw Lucas slide in behind the wheel and hold out a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting, and I almost came in my pants right then and there.

The four of us shared a tiny three-bedroom apartment that we hardly ever used. We hated it when we had to stay here, but I'm sure that would be different if we ever took the time to actually make it feel like home. There was one huge painting debacle before we had to head out of state for gigs. Em, Charles, and Garrett had an apartment across the hall from us. My stomach clenched in pain as I wondered what Em was going to do now.

The modest living room greeted our guests after they walked down a short hallway, but was sparsely furnished with two black recliners, an old beat up coffee table, one older-than-me lamp, and a crappy little radio. Alice and I usually flopped down on the hardwood floor or in a lap if all of us where home at the same time, and that's the way we liked it. Alice and I had painted the walls an ultra-bright yellow in a fit of rebellion against the boys.

Our shoebox of a kitchen could only be seen from the living room if you were facing the front door. The fridge and stove were two different ugly shades of mustard yellow and barely fit; don't even think about trying to fit food anywhere, if we had any in the first place. As much as I loved to bake, I didn't waste my time or limited supply of patience in that hole. The only bathroom was right next to the kitchen and at the end of the hallway that lead to the bedrooms.

Mine and Lucas' room was to the right and would get unbearably hot if someone took a shower. Three of our walls were a deep crimson and housed the only art in the entire house; one large print of the Vitruvian Man by Da Vinci hung on my wall, and a print of The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo adorned his wall. Da Vinci and Michelangelo may or may not have been our favorite Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles, just sayin'.

Our bed rested against the far wall, which was painted black, and was my favorite place in the world. My bed was the only part of this house that I missed while we were gone. Plush white sheets and comforter on my king size mattress were a glaring contrast to the dark colors surrounding us.

Lucas had a pile of chalk on the bedside table, just in case he got inspiration during the night. He'd pick up a stick and write whatever was in his head onto the one black wall, it was the whole reason we had the damn thing. We tried to keep a pen a paper over there for a while, but it always came out as squiggles or a jumbled mess of letters. I couldn't understand why chalk worked, when a pen and paper didn't, but who the hell was I to judge. I just chalked (get it, chalk? I crack myself up) it up to some weird "artist" thing. I would wake up with dust and smudges on my arm or boob and know that a new song was in the making.

Directly across the hall in the corner bedroom was where the band stored all of their shit. Towers of speakers and cases loomed overhead and I was pretty much banned from ever setting foot in that room. The entire band had nervous breakdowns if I stepped my clumsy ass just a little too close to the door; I was _fairly_ sure I couldn't destroy the _whole_ room in one trip.

Alice and Tripp's room was nestled between the living room and band room, and I wasn't terribly sure what was in there. I knew that they had jade green walls and a purple bed spread. We had lived here for a year and a half and I had only been in their room in the very beginning to help paint. Alice was a frequent visitor in my room, but for some reason, I just never went into theirs.

Lucas picked me up as soon as the elevator doors slid open and was dropping me rather ungracefully in the bed before I knew it. He walked back over and closed the door quietly as I followed his predatory movements with hooded eyes. Our ten days apart was clearly hard on both of us, and I couldn't wait to make up for lost time.

I slid back on the bed and held out my hand for him, my silent plea for him to come even closer. My heart was racing with sheer excitement.

He tore off his shirt with a frustrated grunt as I bit my lip in anticipation. In three long strides he closed the gap between us and was climbing up the bed. He was leaning over me, pressing his lower half against me.

"You will **never** leave me for that long ever again, do you understand me?" His eyes were blazing with too many emotions for me to pick just one.

All I could do was whimper my agreement as he roughly palmed my breast. My back arched off of the bed and I threw my legs around his waist; he made short work of the buttons on my pants as he began yanking them down my thighs.

I had no warning before he shoved two fingers into my already slick pussy. I cried out in shock and pleasure as I dug my fingers into his shoulders. His fingers kept up their relentless pounding rhythm as he forced his tongue into my mouth.

I managed to move one hand down towards his pants and moaned into his mouth as I felt his cock spring free from it's confines. I ran one finger along the bottom of his shaft until I was met with the bead of wetness at the head. Lucas shivered above me as he broke our kiss. It always got me that much hotter when I could see how I affected this insanely difficult man.

"Fuck, you feel so good. So wet and tight around my fingers. I can't wait to bury myself in you." He rasped against my ear; it was my turn to shiver now.

Just as I was unwrapping my legs from around him, Tripp burst through the door. I screamed while Lucas unleashed a stream of obscenities. Tripp just laughed hysterically from the doorway.

"What the fuck do you want, Tripp? You know damn well what we were doing in here." He fumed as he leaned over to grab a bottle of water from the little fridge we had. This was another weird habit of his that I just assumed was an "artist" thing, whenever he would get real worked up, he'd drink a bunch of water. Maybe his mouth got dry when he got excited, or maybe he's just weird. Either way, I loved it.

I pulled the blanket up to cover myself up with. Tripp better have a damn good reason for being in here; he only had a pair of unbuttoned, well-worn jeans on, so I assumed there was a pissed off Alice across the hall.

"Alice! Keep your bitch on a leash! He's over here epicly twat swatting me!" I yelled from my spot under the covers.

"I told his dumb ass not to go over there. It's not like I'm laying over here naked or anything!" I heard her yell back.

"Eww, what the fuck is a twat swatter?" Tripp was looking at me like I had three heads.

"Watch Dane Cook, you'll totally get it." I informed him with a smirk.

"You've been in here for like, five fucking minutes, and you still haven't told me why I shouldn't beat your ass." Lucas huffed. He's so cute when he's angry.

"Oh! Right, Bella distracted me with her twatty talk. Did Little Miss Twat Mouth here tell you that she and Alice got tattoos in California? Matching tattoos; they are totally lesbos," Tripp stated excitedly.

I glanced down and realized that I did, in fact, have my shirt on still, and the sleeve covered the tattoo. I bit my lip and played with the blanket anxiously.

"Is that right?" Lucas raised an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged, it hadn't seemed like such a big deal before now. What did seem like a big deal to me was the fact that I was laying here, horny as fuck, with a Tripp in my room.

Lucas' eyes tightened around the edges just a little bit. I swallowed thickly, terribly nervous all of a sudden.

"Tripp, get the fuck out." He watched him close the door before he turned back to me. "Show me. Now."

I peeled my shirt off and watched his eyes grow a little darker in the process. My nipples hardened under his gaze; it was uncomfortable under my bra.

I held my arm straight out from my side as he moved close. His warm breath hit my ultra sensitive skin when his face was inches from the tattoo in question.

My thighs were moving on their own; rubbing together slowly, trying to release a little bit of the insane pressure that was built up inside of me. My breath was coming out faster and harsher the longer he looked at my arm. He slowly brought one cool finger up and ran it lightly along the words and I let out a shuddering breath.

I chanced a glance at his face and was taken by complete surprise with what I saw there; anger would have been fine, but the pain I found etched into his features rendered me completely speechless. His pain visibly seeped into the rest of his body as he slumped forward a little. My heart ached to see him like this, but I knew it was something he'd ultimately have to deal with on his own.

But he was hurting now, and I didn't have time to wait for him, so I did the only thing I could at the moment. I grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him with every bit of feeling that I had. He groaned into my mouth as he pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him.

He threw my blue lace bra across the room and I wasted no time pressing my bare chest to his; I could feel his erratic heartbeat pounding in his chest. I had to fight back tears when he looked into my eyes and I could see the demons swimming in the recesses of his soul.

My hands slowly worked their way down his chest and stomach while I kissed him softly. I pressed against his abdominal muscles until he relented and fell back on the mattress. Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of the decorative scarf things Alice gave me to wear, and inspiration hit. I gave him one last deep kiss before I climbed off of him to retrieve the scarf.

"Now, I'm going to need you to trust me, okay?" I looked down at him with a small smile.

He nodded and lifted up his head. There was no smile on his face, no humor in his eyes; I wondered how far gone he was at that exact moment, and quickly decided that I didn't want to know.

I littered his face with light kisses after the scarf was in place, working my way down his chest and stomach. He squirmed under my soft touches and I let out a small giggle.

"You have to stay still, or I'll stop," I told him as I kissed that delicious v muscle, right above where it disappeared into his jeans.

"You're fuckin' killing me. Please, either let me watch or do something already." He whined slightly. Oh, how he hated to not have control.

I leaned over him and put my lips to his ear. "If you're going to complain, I can gag you as well." I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before I started the slow circuit back down to his waist.

I started to unbutton his pants very slowly; fuck, I loved his button fly jeans. I pulled his jeans and boxer briefs down his legs in one swift motion, and sighed as I saw his erection spring free of the dark gray fabric. My tongue slid across my bottom lip as I watched him squirm and fight his need to be in control.

"Fuck. I'm salivating over you, baby." I groaned; my pants slid down my legs easily as I stood up to stand over Lucas.

His hands hesitated when they met the smooth skin of my legs, and I'm sure it's because he was expecting to find my arms. I looked down at him with a small smile on my face as I watched him run his hands all over my legs. When he started to lean up to run his hands closer I stopped him with a foot on his shoulder. He fell back easy enough when I gave him a slight push, but not without a small whiny groan.

"But fuck, Bells, I can _smell_ you above me. Just come a little closer, it'll be worth giving in. Trust me." He almost had me, till he mentioned giving in.

"Oh baby, you've convinced me. How could I be so blind?" I asked over dramatically.

I slid two fingers along the length of my folds and kneeled down, so that he'd think he was getting what he wanted. I made damn sure that the only part of me touching him was my knees by his head.

I knew payback was going to be a bitch, but I didn't have time to worry about that right now. I pressed my fingers to his mouth lightly before shoving them into his mouth. A moan from deep in his chest rumbled up my arm as he sucked the taste of me off my fingers.

I sank back onto his stomach so my ass was right above his cock. My chest pressed into his while I kissed his neck and shoulders. His muscles flexed and tightened as I made my way down past his pecs; his whole body trembled when my slick pussy brushed against his length. He tried in a feeble attempt to thrust his hips up to meet mine, and all he really managed to do was convince me to lift up off him further.

My breasts pressed against his erection while I was leaned forward to shower his lower abs and v muscle area with light kisses.

"Holy fuck, your tits feel so fuckin' good pressed against my cock like that." He whispered as his hands fisted into my hair.

Sliding down his body even farther, I started to press firm kisses to his hips and thighs, and I made it a point to stay away from the area he wanted me to play with the most. It wasn't until his legs were shaking with tension that I ran my tongue up the underside of his length.

His breath caught when my tongue found the head and I took him into my mouth with one fluid motion. His hands, still tangled into my hair, pulled roughly when he hit the back of my throat. Before I could go back down two more times he was pulling me up to his mouth in a fierce kiss.

"I'm done with this shit. You are going to do exactly as I say, got that?" He asked as I whimpered into his chest.

He flipped me over and pressed me into the bed; he lifted my head and secured the scarf around my eyes. I tried to press my ass into him, but was quickly forced back into the soft mattress.

"I don't fuckin' think so. If I couldn't move, you can't either…unless I tell you to." He growled as he jerked my hands behind my back. Holy fuck. He tied my hands together with what I could only assume was his belt off the floor.

I complied all too willingly as he lifted my hips up off the bed so I was on my knees. His hands roamed over my ass before coming down in two swift smacks. I cried out as he took my hair and pulled my head back, angling it so he could see my face.

He rubbed his hand over the wetness collecting between my thighs and let out a relieved sigh. I expected a finger to slip in when he pulled away slightly, still craning my neck towards him. Instead, I was thrust forward as he slammed his dick into me. I cried out again as he began to moan and grunt each time he slammed back into me.

"You will not. Play those fuckin'. Games with me. Do you understand, Isabella?" He accentuated every couple of words with an even harder thrust and a tug to my hair.

"Oh, fuck! Yes! God, yes, I understand. Please." I begged, not entirely sure what for.

The hand in my hair dropped and covered my mouth, and the irony of me threatening to gag him before was not lost on me. His other hand grabbed my hip and he slammed into me; I could feel my orgasm teetering on the edge, and I was ready to jump.

"Fuck me. Such a nice little play toy. Cum for me, baby. Cum on me like the good little girl you are." His fingers tugged on my clit and I was lost to everything but him.

I screamed out his name as my orgasm crashed over me, sending me into shivers and trembles as he slammed into me twice more before he emptied himself into me.

I collapsed against the bed as he leaned against me. Soft kisses were pressed into my shoulders and the center of my back as we caught our breath. He reached between us to release my hands, which flew to my face to tear off my scarf. His panting breath fanned across me and I could feel the exhaustion start to pull me under.

Lucas rolled to his side of the bed and pulled me into his arms, rubbing my shoulders as we lay there and waited for sleep to take us. I kissed his chest while my leg crossed his waist; he played with my fingers and hair as I started to drift off.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked with trepidation in his voice.

"No, baby, you didn't hurt me one bit. I loved it and would like to do it again when I get the feeling back in my body." I smiled into his chest, and he continued playing with my hair.

"I love you. Get some sleep now, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow," he sighed into the top of my head.

It couldn't have been any later than five in the afternoon, and I couldn't hold my eyes open. I wanted to stay like this forever, never letting tomorrow tarnish my memory.

Tomorrow we had the funerals.

**AN:**

Yup, they finally got to do it. Poor kids.

Thank you a million times to my betas, ARenee363 and Wisdomous.

I need to hear from you guys so I know what I'm doing wrong and right. I'm also going to be sending out teases to those of you that review. Yeah, I went there. Sorrrrry to those of you that were promised teases….and didn't get them. I was unaware that I wouldn't have internet.

Until next week loves.

**Play list:**

California Girls- Beach Boys

New Tattoo- Saving Able

To Make You Feel My Love- Garth Brooks

FMLYHM- Seether


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:**

Let me start my giving everyone my most sincere "SORRY!" for the giant wait for this chapter. I was without Internet and a computer for some time after I moved. Then life decided to punch me in the head until it was impossible for me to write.

With that, I should be back to writing of a pretttty frequent basis.

Thank you so much to everyone that encouraged and helped me get this out to you guys. My beta, Wisdomous…is the absolute best. Leannelrh and Jessypt, thanks for staying on my ass.

Remember…I don't own Twilight or any of they yummy characters, that Meyer chick does.

But I do own another new tattoo, a cup shaped like a ninja, and an apron with cupcakes on it.

Warning!! Potty mouths ahead. Also, a little tiny bit of heartfail. But just a little.

* * *

I woke to the smell of bacon and eggs, and a delicious pain in my hips and back in the morning. Stretching as far as I could and letting out a loud groan, I rolled over and kissed Lucas on his temple.

"Wake up, love. We have a long day, and I'm pretty sure someone is making actual food in our kitchen," I whispered and rubbed his arm.

A heavy sigh left me as I realized he was going to be difficult this morning. I placed an arm on either side of him, looking down at his peaceful face. I couldn't blame him, not one little bit, because today was going to be tough on all of us.

My nose nuzzled into his neck lightly, knowing that he was ticklish here.

"Baby, you have to get up. The world is waiting for us."

As soon as the joking words left my mouth, I realized how true they were. The band had been approached by numerous news outlets to cover the funerals, and we had turned them all down.

Tripp was no longer allowed to answer phones after he blew up at two national news programs; Alice would shut down every time flowers or cards got delivered to the house from fans. Lucas and I were the best at keeping calm, so we took turns dealing with fans and phone calls.

I was lost in thought when I felt Lucas turn his head into the pillow and let out a little groan.

"Wake. Up. Now. Please." I punctuated each word with a loud, smacking kiss on his face.

I had given up hope just as he flipped me over faster than my tired mind could register, and had me pinned to the mattress underneath him in seconds.

"No. We're staying in bed all day. You have no say in this, please, just accept it; I'd hate to get out the belt again," he growled against my collarbone.

A shiver ran up my spine as he trailed kisses over my collarbone and shoulders, running his hands down my body.

I knew I was down to mere seconds before I forgot _why_ we had to get up. Damn him and those lips.

"I promise there is a reason we have to get up, other than food. Please, let's get up, eat, and shower. We owe it to our friends, baby." I placed my hands on his cheeks, pulling his face closer to mine.

I closed my eyes as he let his head fall, resting his forehead on mine, and felt a small sigh hit my skin. His hands ghosted up to my hair, barely touching me, until they fisted my hair.

"I know, but I'd rather pretend that we can stay here all day," he pulled on my hair and pressed his forehead into mine harder.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him, trying to eliminate any space between us. We needed each other more today than ever before.

"Okay, lets get up before I decide not to go at all." I released my hold on him as he spoke and watched him swing his legs over the side of the bed.

He sat there for a while with his hands in his lap, looking at the floor. I jumped off the bed, throwing on some pajama shorts, and walked over to stand in front of him. He loved it when I only wore shorts.

I got down on my knees in front of him, took his hands in mine, and waited for him to look at me.

I opened my mouth to speak a few times, but I knew nothing I could say would help. He finally looked up and I saw all the hurt in his eyes for the first time since the accident.

In this small moment I saw the real Lucas. There was no hard mask up to protect our friends; there was no wall to keep everyone out. The air in the room was heavy with unspoken words, and all of the hurt we had been keeping in up to this point.

Gently pushing his knees apart, I shifted between his legs, and pulled him to me. I felt his forehead hit my shoulder, his body started to shudder.

"I just…I don't…" he trailed off, trying to regain control of his body.

I let go of one of his hands, bringing it up to his hair. "I know baby, and it's okay. We don't have to talk about it now. We'll take it one step at a time, let's just get up."

A heavy sigh hit the taut skin over my throat. I took this as a sign that it was okay to stand up, but I refused to let go of his hand.

"Umm, baby?" He looked at me as he stood up.

"Mhmm?" I pulled him into the hallway and started toward the bathroom.

He didn't say anything as I locked the door and started the water in our shower. I slid the shorts down my slender legs and stepped under the water. Lucas' strong chest was pressed against my back as he wound his arms around me, holding me close.

"I love you. More than I know how to tell you. Remember that, okay?" He whispered into my wet hair.

I struggled to turn around to face him, holding his face in my hands gently.

"I could never forget that, my love. I promise," I said as I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

It was a huge struggle to make it though an entire shower _and_ keep his hands off of me. I couldn't even be upset about it, because we both did it. We avoided our issues through sex. The raw sexual tension from high school never left us, and we both knew how to use it to our advantage.

Forcing him out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around his lower half before drying off his hair with a spare towel. He smirked a little as I ruffled his hair with unnecessary force; I used this towel to wrap myself in.

We wandered into the kitchen, hand-in-hand in our towels, to see Alice and Tripp sitting on the floor with over-flowing plates in front of them. Alice looked up at us with a smirk, but her eyes were dull; they lacked the twinkle that I grew to expect in them.

"Well, I see some of us are dressing up for the occasion," she sighed at us.

"I am terribly sorry, best friend. Does my lack of clothing bother you today, more than any other?" I asked, trying to ease the sullen mood a little.

"No, dumbass, but your boyfriend's does," she smiled back at me. We were always looked to for comic relief, so why should this be any different?

"Whatever, you know you wanna get on this," Lucas added with a grin. God, I loved him.

Alice snorted and turned away again. "There is more food in there, sluts."

I sighed quietly while we walked into the kitchen, filled up our plates and walked back into the living room to sit with our friends.

We all sat there eating, sometimes in silence, talking occasionally about the not-so-distant future, but mostly…mostly we talked about our friends and fans.

A shiver up my spine and a knock on the door reminded me that I was still sitting there, in a towel, and with wet hair. Emmett came barging in just as I was getting up to get dressed.

"Get dressed! I'm ready to get today over, and then get shitty tonight," he ordered as he flopped into a chair.

I waved at Em as I grabbed Lucas' hand and pulled him into the room to get ready for our day.

It took over an hour to get Lucas and myself dressed. He threw a tantrum worthy of a four year old, over a tie. I tried to explain that it was bad luck to wear red to a funeral, and he freaked out about _having_ to wear it. I let it go when I could see him start to get visibly upset.

A feeling of shame washed over me when I looked at him, feeling about eight kinds of worked up seeing him in that outfit. A small part of me wondered if he wore it on purpose, knowing what it did to me.

His hair hung un-styled, off to one side, and I wanted to run my fingers through it. A black, long sleeve, button-up shirt clung to his firm torso, and tucked neatly under the waist of his black dress pants. He kept his personal style by pairing his outfit with black Converse sneakers, an all white studded belt, and a red tie.

My knees were weak, and I felt slightly light-headed looking at him; I had to remind myself more than twice that we were getting ready for a funeral, and not a show.

I went with a simple black dress and modest heels, trying not to draw too much attention to myself. Alice had to come in and help me with my hair and makeup before she would let me leave the room.

The funeral was scheduled for 3 o'clock that afternoon, and we took till almost 1:30 to get ready. We all settled into a rented, flat-black Escalade, riding in silence to the funeral site.

Tripp's family bought a large chunk of land outside of the city when we moved out here, and had offered a quiet corner to use as the resting place for our friends. The field was large enough to accommodate the large crowd we expected, but would be remote enough to go undisturbed after everything was said and done.

It took us just over an hour to reach the house, and I was immediately grateful that we told fans to arrive thirty minutes after we planned to be there.

We each took our turn walking up to the open caskets and looking in on our friends. Tripp only stood there long enough to tell each of them he missed them, and to drop a pick in with Charles and a drumstick in with Garrett. Emmett simply bowed his head in front of each of them, saying a quick prayer before stepping back. Lucas tucked folded pieces of paper next to each of them and walked away. I hadn't even seen him write anything, but I assumed there was more than enough time while I was gone.

Alice and I had to walk up together, and were reduced to sobbing messes before we reached the caskets. We shook off the boys when they came up to put their arms around us; as nice as it was, this was something we had to do without them.

I tucked Garrett's bear down along side him, careful to make sure no one would see it when they passed by; Alice was putting Charles' favorite t-shirt under his arm. We held hands and cried while we silently said goodbye to our friends one last time. My legs started to give out as I fixed the sleeve of Garrett's jacket, and I was saved by Alice's gentle hold on my elbow.

We had less than five minutes to pull ourselves together before guests started to show up, and it was very important that we appear strong for them. All of us had made it very clear at various times that we never wanted our funerals to be a time of sadness and tears, but joy and remembrance at the all of the good times we had been through; a celebration of life, not grieving over the loss.

Within the first thirty minutes we had over six hundred people show up. They were walking up to a mile just to pay their respect and talk to us; I had never shaken so many hands in my life. We were truly astounded by the amount of support and love that was flooding us in these moments. As much as we wanted to talk to everyone when they got there, we knew there was business to take care of, and we had set aside the rest of the day to stay and share stories with anyone that wanted to talk.

By the time we asked everyone to take a seat we had somewhere around seven hundred and eighty people in attendance, and these people were coming from all over the country. A good amount of them had to stand when it was time for Lucas to go up and give his eulogy.

Alice and I sat with heavy hearts and tears in our eyes as Lucas began.

"Hello everyone, and let me start by extending the never-ending gratitude and love the entire band and I, have for every single one of you. We can never express how much it means to us to have you here, and how much we honor the fact that you're willing to come support us after this accident.

"None of us want this to turn into a long drawn out pity party, and I know for a fact that Garrett and Charles would want us to laugh and try to remember only the good times we shared with them. I believe Garrett's exact words were, 'Dude, I swear to God if any of you cry, I'll haunt you for the rest of forever.' I, for one, don't want that that little weirdo haunting me forever." There were a few tear-filled chuckles, and a lot of sniffles.

"To address the money raised by our fans in an attempt to help with hospital and funeral expenses, we are going to set up a special page where you can vote on a charity for the money to go to. We received enough to cover the bills, but had no way to share this information in time. Just the fact that it was a thought to any of you warmed our hearts and touched our souls beyond comprehension, and we would like nothing more than to give back to the world.

"Our plan is to stay and share stories with all of you until the very last person leaves. So please feel free to talk to each other or any of us when you get the chance. We would like the rest of this evening to be filled with laughter and happy stories of our friends; no more tears, and no more sadness from this point on.

"Thank you again, and please come share with us."

I sucked up the rest of my sadness as Lucas was met with a thunderous round of applause. I could see his shoulders pushed back as he tried to project his strength to the crowd.

My arms wrapped around him in a tight, brief hug before the guests started to circle around us.

"I love you, baby," I whispered into his ear before we were pulled in opposite directions.

The next four hours flew by as I listened to countless stories about the side of Garrett and Charles that I never really saw; the side he only showed to his fans.

One girl told me about the night she reached out to Charles on Facebook and he, unknowingly at the time, talked her out of taking her own life. She had just lost both of her parents in a home invasion and didn't know how to keep going without them. She made me cry. Hard. She also got to walk away with my new cell phone number and the promise that she would have a guaranteed ticket to any show she wanted to attend.

Numerous women regaled me with stories about how Garrett tried to pick them up in bars, at the grocery store, laundry-mat, doctors office, post office, dry cleaners, library, and countless other places. They walked away with huge grins and hugs from me.

Not a single person had a bad story to tell, and no one else cried…unless they were laughing.

I never once saw Lucas, Alice, Tripp, or Emmett in the crowd until the very end. We hugged the last few people, and then each other. The five of us stayed and watched them lower the caskets into the earth, holding each other with strong arms.

This was one of the longest days in my life and I wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed with Lucas and start a new day. And maybe a sandwich.

I sat in the middle of the seat with Alice and Lucas on either side of me on the ride home. Lucas held my hand tightly and stroked my cheek gently while Alice rested her head on my shoulder.

We were sharing our favorite stories from the day when Emmett spoke to any of us, really for the first time, all day.

"Hey, um, I was just wondering…do you guys mind if I camp out on your living room floor until I find somewhere new to stay? I just, I can't be there by myself anymore," he looked back at us from the front seat.

"Of course you can, love. Why do you think you even needed to ask? And you don't have to 'camp out' silly, you can set your bed up in there if you want," Alice smiled at him sweetly.

"I was just making sure. Thanks guys," Em gave us a small half smile as Lucas patted him on the shoulder.

It was almost 9 when we got home and we were more than looking forward to climbing into our beds for the night. I was out of my heels and dress before I got down the hallway to our room and flopped onto the middle of the bed face first. It was wonderful.

Lucas' cool fingers unhooked my bra and pulled my panties down my legs slowly before I felt him climb onto the bed with me. I wiggled under the sheet and pressed myself to him tightly as he wrapped me in a tight hold.

"I'm so glad today is over, but tomorrow is gonna fucking suck. We have an eternity of auditions to make it through," he sighed into my hair.

"So, what are we doing? Can the rest of the shows be saved? What if we don't find anyone to fill the positions? How are we going to get around? What if the new people don't like me and Alice?" I started to ramble off question after question. Lucas hushed me with a finger over my lips.

"Baby, please calm yourself right the fuck down. We're not going to be able to save all the dates, but maybe a good chunk of the later ones. I'm sure we'll find people to fill in at least for a while, and if they don't like you or Alice they can fuck off. We'd never let anyone in the band that didn't like one of us." A kiss to the top of my head let me know the conversation was over.

"Okay, lets just try to get some sleep. I love you."

"I love you too. See you in the morning."

With that, we fell asleep with the hopes that tomorrow would be better than today.

I stretched as far as I could with a huge yawn in the morning, only to find that the other half of my bed was empty. I pouted for a minute before deciding to grab a long shirt and go find Alice.

A ton of paper was strewn across the living room floor as a very disheveled Alice sat cross-legged in the middle.

"Hey love, what's goin' on in here?" I asked, pouring myself some coffee.

"The boys, what else? They want us to talk to as many of the later venues as possible to discuss booking the shows again. They are very confident that they can find people to fill in. I have a good feeling about it too," she smiled at me brightly.

I let out a small huff and walked to the bedroom to get ready for my busy day with Alice.

**LucasPOV**

Five. Fucking. Hours.

We had been sitting here for five hours listening to shitty musicians and yelling at people that came just to gawk at us.

When the fuck were people going to get over this shit? Couldn't they tell we were trying to move on?

We still had two more appointments to get through before we could call this shit quits. Turns out some of Bella's worries were right on point. It didn't look like we were going to find anyone to fill the spots, even for a short amount of time.

Fuck. Thinking about Bella around any of these assholes got my blood boiling. Tripp had to hold me back from beating the fuck out of some prick drummer that came in asking if "Bella's boyfriend got killed."

I don't remember the last time I was _that _pissed off.

I was angry all the time now; it was just a matter of not always being able to hide it. Sometimes the smallest things would set me off, and sometimes it took a lot to get me worked up. I felt like this was pretty fucking deserving. In fact, I think that asshole is lucky I didn't break his fucking face.

I may have punched a hole through the table we were using.

Emmett had some friend that was letting us use an empty warehouse that his family owned, and it was bugging the shit out of me. The acoustics were completely off, and it was hot as fuck…but it was our only option at the moment.

Tripp bitched at me for ruining the table. I didn't give a fuck.

"Hey, how about we cover 'Break Stuff'?" I asked Tripp, laughing a little.

"Hell yeah, dude. I fuckin' love that song." The confused look on his face made me laugh harder.

"Great, now let's finish up with these last two auditions and go get a drink."

"Yeah, I'm down. Let's hurry these guys up, I'm over listening to a bunch of douche-nozzles butcher great songs," Tripp added with a grin.

I nodded, calling in the next guy. The paper in front of me said his name was…Alistair? I don't fuckin' think so.

We got Emmett to bullshit like he was getting sick when we realized this kid couldn't even form whole sentences around us.

None of us had time to wait for someone to get over being "star-struck" over us. We didn't look at ourselves differently, and we didn't have ridiculous egos, so we didn't want someone that would treat us any different.

I was ready to call off this last audition, but Em said he had heard great things about these last two guys.

Tripp called for them to come in, and as soon as I set eyes on them, I became irately pissed off.

Something about these guys really rubbed me the wrong way, especially the tall, awkward one. I had an overwhelming desire to punch him in his face.

I snatched the paper away from Tripp and scanned their information quickly.

"So you're twenty-two year old twins, live together, and play in bands together…do you fuckin' juggle too?" I spit at them.

The shorter, curly-headed blond laughed and shook his head. "Nope, can't say that we do, but we'll look into it."

"He's in. I love anyone that doesn't take your shit," Em gasped out, doubled over in laughter.

Asshole.

"Asshole," I scowled at him. "Says here that Edward plays drums, and Jasper plays bass guitar; who's who?"

The blond stepped forward and extended his hand to me, "I'd be Jasper Whitlock."

"Lucas. Nice to meet you." I shook his hand firmly.

Now that he wasn't standing next to the other one, I really didn't mind this guy. He seemed real down to earth and relaxed. Actually, from what I could tell, he was a lot like Tripp.

"Guess that would make me Edward." He extended his hand out to me as well, I gritted my teeth, and squeezed his hand quickly.

I wiped my hand on my jeans under the table when they moved over to shake hands with Tripp and Em.

Emmett was practically sucking their dicks, it was sickening. He had a big goofy grin on his face as he rambled off some questions to Jasper, and Tripp fielded questions from Edward.

I sat back in my chair, slightly disgusted, and watched these little girls gossip and chat.

It went on for almost ten minutes before I finally cleared my throat to break up the group hug.

"Sorry, _ladies_, but I would like to get out of this fucking building, and we still need to hear you play. If its not too much trouble." I threw my feet up on the table.

"Yeah, sorry dude. Anything specific you guys want to hear?" Jasper asked as he slung the guitar strap around his neck.

I shook my head, hoping they would play something obnoxious so I could use it against them.

Edward smashed out the first few drum beats to a song that I knew all too well, and my jaw dropped a little. All I could do was sit there, Emmett was giving them thumbs up, and Tripp just started to laugh as Jasper came in on his bass.

I help up my hand, letting them know it was ok to stop, and turned to look at the guys. Tripp was still losing his shit, and Em was grinning from ear to ear. They were going to be no help.

_Of course_ they would play Break Stuff. Why _wouldn't_ they? _Of course_ the universe wants me to be stuck with this ass hole and his brother for a little longer.

"Looks like I'd be out numbered even if I said no. Pending a meeting with the rest of the team and management, tentatively, welcome to the band," I shrugged.

The guys all high fived each other, I just got up and walked out.

I typed out a quick text to Bella before I climbed in behind my wheel. I couldn't fuckin' wait to get home.

_B,_

_On my way home._

_We have new band members._

_Kind of?_

_Please have a beer ready for me._

_I prefer it naked in bed._

_~L_

* * *

**AN:**

Lucas point of view…whaaaat?!

And Edward and Jasper are finally here….whaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?

That's right. Hope you enjoyed that little peek inside Lucas' mind, and a few of you can rest easy now that the boys are here.

Please, please, pleaseeeee review so I know what I doing right and wrong.

Also, no playlist this week. Sadface…I know…but I'll make the next one extra long. Promise.


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